I'm getting better at my job. And recent events triggering extreme anger at work have spurred me to exercise finally, or at least I did when I got home from work two hours ago. I hope to continue that. I may just start forgoing an extra half hour of sleep daily in order to do weight training because in my line of work it can be very important to be fit. And since I work twelve hour shifts I have very little time on work days if I don't manage it right. My wife has been supportive and been making me lunch daily so I don't have to waste time on it and I get to eat healthy vs the fatty food we have at work or fast food options.
But I still have real frustrating events that trigger me in odd ways. For lack of a better term, my job requires me to be extremely masculine in order to be effective. I have to be macho and I'm getting better at it but every time something makes me stutter I feel angry. I'm progressing with letting things go sometimes but sometimes I slip back and I dwell on things that I shouldn't.
At least I'm being paid decently. I get lots of days off if I do my mandated overtime early in the month. In April I'll have five days off followed by four days then four more off which is dope. All I have to do is work my ass off in the first two weeks.
Just thought I'd check in and let people know what's going on with me. I had a very interesting, strong psilacetin trip last Friday night where I just listened to music during the peak and cried a lot. It felt very healing but I feel I need more healing. I Hope I can achieve some greater sense of stability, and I do think I'm on the right track.
Best wishes to y'all.
