Positive The Tapering Support Thread v 2.0

[kiely]

Congratulations Kiely!!! You made it out to the other side!

Just don’t lose that fear. It’s surprising how easily the pills can creep back into your life. Do you still have pills ‘saved’ anywhere?

Today I had a real pear and some water instead of an energy drink.

It never tasted so good in my whole life. lol. It did. It was good.

And some cherries.

 

[kiely]

Congratulations Kiely!!! You made it out to the other side!

Just don’t lose that fear. It’s surprising how easily the pills can creep back into your life. Do you still have pills ‘saved’ anywhere?

YOU'RE AWESOME.

No pills. I live on Planet of the No Norco right now. They are gone.

 

[Squeaky]

YOU'RE AWESOME.

No pills. I live on Planet of the No Norco right now. They are gone.

It sounds like you’re riding that high of freedom. It’s gotta feel pretty awesome.

This thread was actually started by a lady who wanted to taper off opiates. Eventually she got down to zero and finally started living. One of her last posts was about going on a vacation with no fear of running out of pills for the first time in several years.

Feels like you got out of jail.

 

[terratt]

my tapering plan went horribly wrong. i got myself into a situation where i'd gone 10 days without taking anything at all, and then i did something so stupid. i had this awful pain in the middle of my lower back and i had had pain exactly like that before and it was kidney stones - i've had kidney stones three times in the last two years and they were awful, i was hospitalized twice - so i just assumed that this was another kidney stone. went to my GP and he gave me some kind of NSAID, but it did nothing for the pain. i ended up going to the ER because the pain was so bad and they ran all the usual tests. on the one hand i'm glad i went, because they told me my liver and kidney function is completely normal and obviously that's always a concern when you're a drug user. but they basically said i didn't have any kidney stone issues (i've got a couple of very small stones in my kidneys but they're not causing any problems and likely won't) and maybe my pain was musculoskeletal and i should see a physiotherapist etc. in the hospital they gave me a opioid painkiller, and the pain actually went away for a while. so between that and knowing that my kidneys weren't failing or something, i felt a bit better.

then i came home and googled my symptoms. and the result was pretty clear. what i was experiencing was just withdrawal. i didn't realize because a) i'd never had those particular symptoms before. usually when i'm in withdrawal i get the runs and i sneeze a whole bunch. and b) i'd never actually made it to ten days totally sober before.

so i felt like i had to start tapering all over again because i obviously just rushed this and didn't properly think my plan through.

i'm starting a really important job on monday and i'm terrified of having to try and taper while i'm doing this job.

but i guess it's cool that i did get those 10 days under my belt. the thing is - i didn't even want to use. like i had no desire whatsoever to take drugs and that's how i feel most of the time now. i'm in that awful place where my body is obviously dependent on them, so i have to keep using but tapering down, when my instinct was just to go cold turkey.

i feel really dumb but i guess it's back to day one now.

 

[kiely]

It sounds like you’re riding that high of freedom. It’s gotta feel pretty awesome.

This thread was actually started by a lady who wanted to taper off opiates. Eventually she got down to zero and finally started living. One of her last posts was about going on a vacation with no fear of running out of pills for the first time in several years.

Feels like you got out of jail.

Thank you for your kind words @Squeaky. It feels good that you are here and here for us. And thank you for your understanding.

I know that you understand and can help and I thank you so much for that.


You really know how and do keep the support going so well. I just have to read your posts whenever I can and when I need something.

No matter what it is I don't care but you are here and listen and understand for us. And you are so good at keeping that focus and knowing how.


And no matter how little it can seem at the time . . . it really is a big deal and is such a significant support that you always seem to be able to

contribute to so well. Yes you just have that skill to help out. And I know it is appreciated too. I just feel that so sincerely, and in a community

that has that significance somehow.


Anyway sorry that I wrote so much but you can see how we are crying out and how you and took the time to care.

I needed some tears because my eyes felt kind of dry today anyway.



I did have a terrible day today. I have to take methotrexate and I forgot to take it and took it late and it is only once a week.

It does hit hard sometimes but I have just kept going so far.



I felt really really . . . really bad today. So I needed something to help and then I finally took a cetirizine. I haven't taken one for

about five or six days at least but it is helping and I feel a lot better from it for sure. I doubt if I am really hooked on them at all.

So it is probably my brain now because I seemed to need something and that cetrirzine really helped a lot.



I have to get stronger. I barely have any strength left anymore. And I am too tired all of the time.

I just wanted to cry out again today. So thank you again for all of the great encouragement and your smile.

The smile from in my heart too.



But that being said I have rested enough and have to try to get up and start living again and work on having some

kind of strength for doing so. The tiredness always takes over and so I feel very depressed. Or the depression

makes me tired. Either way I want to be stronger and at least feel like I will be able to do all of the things that I want to somehow.



I want to be healthier and not be lazy and lethargic as a way of life. I mean some days I can do this but most of

the time I just don't want to. Maybe it just feels worse than it is because I was so down and so out of it all today.



Yes, no more Norco . . . but no more strength and energy anymore either as the time flows.

Gawd thank you so much for your support. he hee. And making my horrible day feel a little bit brighter and worth it

once again. It is horrible being so down and out and dreary when I can't have the energy that I want.



It's not about the opioids anymore it's about auto immune inflammation that causes depression and lack of motivation.

I am in a bad depression loop but keep trying to stay motivated to do something about it.

It definitely isn't fun being sick no matter what is causing it.



I am free though !!!!!!!! And I am able to feel that strength from the heart to keep on going because if I do nothing else at least

I can rest and know that the happiness at least can make it all feel a little better. Little steps toward bigger goals

do help so much.


And feel the support from you and it was so great . . . and just the best ever as always. Wow, how do you do that.

Anyway.


@Squeaky made me smile today. And that little bit went a really long way and made it all feel much better.


blah bla bla bla blah I loved it !!!! I did. Did it.


No . . . . but that was really great. Thank you that was awesome !!

loools squeak squeak really awesome



k thnx



Bye.


So yes, I can't get any worse now . . . . only better. Thank you @Squeaky. This is what this appreciation is about here always. You are the Pro. around here too. And you know how to make smiles also and as well.


Be the change and make that difference. And that was @Squeaky today. That was the support from you that I will remember

always too.