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Any advice / insight methadone alcohol cirrhosis

Leo11

Greenlighter
Joined
May 13, 2018
Messages
14
Hi there. I'm so new to this wasn't sure where or how to post.
Ok, so I've been reading Socal424 religously getting off methadone...not sure if there's a way to let him know.(Dale? I believe). Then moscatel getting off oxys Im rrading now.
Anyway, before i lose my nerve here goes. I need help, encouragement, I don't know. I've done this before, successfully, or so I thought.
Ok so again brand new to posting, I've only read through daily for a couple months.
Ive been drinking a lot for abt the past 10 yrs, like a box of white wine a day = 4 - 750ml bottles. I wad also on oxy (old school)80mg , 30mg IRs, 8 mg dilaudid, sniffing them then shooting up, none of which prescribed, then of course to heroin. my husband needs meds for a bad car accident and he is in much back pain, deteriorating discs, Dr told him he'd be lucky to still be walking in 10 years (15 yrs ago) but we enable each other. He got really really bad on overmedicating and I just went along for the ride...ohhh it was such fun in the beginning.
Then after several years we decided to go to the methadone clinic and then he went to rehab and I did outpatient Subutex then somehow went completely clean until last year.
I honestly don't remember how I went off of it with so much alcohol in my brain. I really don't. I know you cant go straight from mdone to subs, but my short term memory is shot and i have huge ammonia levels ( and have hepatic encephalopathy - HE). I was diagnosed last year with stage 4 cirrhosis and have not been very well since. So I stayed off of alcohol until March of this year but was doing heroin the entire time. I went
back to the methadone clinic in March but now I started drinking again as of late April and don't know what to do.

I know I'm all over the place with this I don't know where to turn my husband doesn't know I'm drinking again at all. Our daughter has had her suspicions and has told my husband (shes 22 not a child) He's kind of oblivious because he's back on methadone as well plus he gets prescribed Xanax and muscle relaxers (all Dr.s are aware) and I feel like I'm all alone with this. I mean don't get me wrong I've been with my husband for over 20 years since we were like kids really I love him so much but we both have our vices.

Anyway that's it I know I ramble on and on and on song I'll see where this goes and if anyone has any advice or insight to give me I'd appreciate it thanks so much you guys sorry for any grammar errors or anything I'm just talking into my phone to type this
 
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Hi Leo,

Let me welcome you, you have certainly come to the right place!!!! We are happy to have you here. :)


I can see by your posts that you possess great self awareness and you acknowledge a need for change in your life. You are already winning with that attitude and you will fit in nicely here.

Sober living is a great place to post when you want to make some changes. And I see that you do.

Okay, I'm going to break things down, as I see your husband is a pain patient, I'm sure he's got a lot on his plate and I understand why you would come here for your own support.

So it's great you realize that with your current health problems ie: cirrhosis you ARE going to quit drinking. Period point blank. You have to. You have a family, with a husband that needs you and a lovely daughter that is concerned, and even at 22 still needs her momma.

If you're serious about quitting drinking you should see about getting antabuse to help with the cravings. While you're at it ask your Dr. those questions you had about eventually tapering off methadone.

I see you've read my friend Dale's (SoCal424) thread about quitting Methadone so he'd be a good one to ask questions to as well...

Eventually you're going to have to chuck it all lady but it will be SO worth it.

For the support part we've got you covered, you are a very intelligent lady with so much going for you. we're going to be here for you every step of the way.



And NO you are DEFINITELY not alone here, you can do this!! Please come here and post when you have questions or need support. Or even if you're just feeling overwhelmed or down.


Hugs Leo,
I will be here for you anytime, feel free to pm as well,
your friend Ashley.

Hi there. I'm so new to this wasn't sure where or how to post.
Ok, so I've been reading Socal424 religously getting off methadone...not sure if there's a way to let him know.(Dale? I believe). Then moscatel getting off oxys Im rrading now.
Anyway, before i lose my nerve here goes. I need help, encouragement, I don't know. I've done this before, successfully, or so I thought.
Ok so again brand new to posting, I've only read through daily for a couple months.
Ive been drinking a lot for abt the past 10 yrs, like a box of white wine a day = 4 - 750ml bottles. I wad also on oxy (old school)80mg , 30mg IRs, 8 mg dilaudid, sniffing them then shooting up, none of which prescribed, then of course to heroin. my husband needs meds for a bad car accident and he is in much back pain, deteriorating discs, Dr told him he'd be lucky to still be walking in 10 years (15 yrs ago) but we enable each other. He got really really bad on overmedicating and I just went along for the ride...ohhh it was such fun in the beginning.
Then after several years we decided to go to the methadone clinic and then he went to rehab and I did outpatient Subutex then somehow went completely clean until last year.
I honestly don't remember how I went off of it with so much alcohol in my brain. I really don't. I know you cant go straight from mdone to subs, but my short term memory is shot and i have huge ammonia levels ( and have hepatic encephalopathy - HE). I was diagnosed last year with stage 4 cirrhosis and have not been very well since. So I stayed off of alcohol until March of this year but was doing heroin the entire time. I went
back to the methadone clinic in March but now I started drinking again as of late April and don't know what to do.

I know I'm all over the place with this I don't know where to turn my husband doesn't know I'm drinking again at all. Our daughter has had her suspicions and has told my husband (shes 22 not a child) He's kind of oblivious because he's back on methadone as well plus he gets prescribed Xanax and muscle relaxers (all Dr.s are aware) and I feel like I'm all alone with this. I mean don't get me wrong I've been with my husband for over 20 years since we were like kids really I love him so much but we both have our vices.

Anyway that's it I know I ramble on and on and on song I'll see where this goes and if anyone has any advice or insight to give me I'd appreciate it thanks so much you guys sorry for any grammar errors or anything I'm just talking into my phone to type this
 
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ToothPasteDog or another mod could you please move leo's thread here to Sober living? I think she'll get more responses and the support she's looking for there.

Thanks in advance,
Ash.
 
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Thanks for everyones replies and PMs. I think first off I need to stop drinking and then start tapering down the methadone and/or going to Subutex. I did completely quit last year in January when I was diagnosed with cirrhosis but was in the hospital 3 days and sent home with Librium. I'm just in fear of cold turkey because of seizures as I do have a past with them and they are scary scary things.
I don't know I've got a lot to think about, my husband now thinks there's something up with me too and that I'm acting Stranger than usual even with the HE that I explained earlier that makes me act kind of loopy and I know it's the buzz from drinking... can't play the dumb air headed blonde thing too much longer. I mean I've always been a very smart person just kind of not as much so "Street smarts" and it's beginning to show what years and years of my brain floating in Alcohol and then on top of that all the opiates has done.

Well I'll check in later another thing with cirrhosis is sleep schedule gets completely turned upside down so I'm usually up all night and sleep a few hours during the day and that's it... it's been like that for the past almost year so I'm up at all odd hours... 425am yay sun will be up in 2.��
 
Well, I'm starting today with 1 small bottle of wine as I'm scared to do CT, seizures are not anything I wanna deal with as they are so, so scary.
I also went down to 70mg mdone at the clinic today(from 75) I don't wanna push it. Quitting drinking again is my main priority right now. I should've learned my lesson last year when i was diagnosed with cirrhosis and completely stopped drinking. I don't know why I started again for the past month/6 weeks. I guess I kind of know...a lot of personal issues and things going on in my head but I was getting along so well without it I'm so mad at myself for starting drinking again I just can't believe it that I've got myself into this again I just cannot believe this...feeling very discouraged and so mad at myself
 
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Leo

Hi Leo,

I pm'd you,

I'm happy that you've been to the clinic already, now you just need to see about getting some antabuse for the alcohol quit. This will help with the cravings.

Try not to get discouraged and angry with yourself, what's important is NOW!!! It's never too late and we'll all be here to help you!!

Your friend, Ash.
 
Hello Leo11 - I'm glad we got you moved over here in our neighborhood. I hope we can give you some encouragement/advice to help you. A big part of recovery is believing in your self worth. You are worth every good thing that life has to offer. Equal opportunity awaits you and the rest of us. You are here to fulfill a lifetime of experiences; to experience joy and peace, and I sincerely hope most experiences have been and will be good ones throughout your life. We all slip up, but each day brings another chance to start again and leave the past in the past.

I agree with Ashley (she's known around here for her excellent support and advice :) that you should look into getting antabuse from your doctor. I'm also concerned for you that you might be moving a little fast trying to cut methadone while cutting alcohol. If it were me, I'd do the alcohol first, then worry about methadone after you're doing well without alcohol.

Put yourself first as much as you can - this is the time to concentrate on getting you healthier. If you don't take a multivitamin, maybe this is a good time to start. Drink plenty of water and eat as healthy as you can.

I'm rooting for you,
Dale
 
Hi lovely Leo

Hope you are doing well, I just stopped by to see how you're doing? If you need me for any reason you can pm me.

Although I really hope you're having a great day, I do realize things are difficult for you right now, so If you're having a hard time let me know, I'm here for you,

Hugs,
your friend,
Ash.
 
I think you should focus on getting off alcohol before you even think about getting off Methodone. Alcohol is going to kill you in the near term where methadone is pretty safe in the clinic setting.

You need to see a doctor about getting on a Librium or other benzo taper. Tapering with alcohol alone is.not really possible from my understanding because of its half life. You need long half-life benzos to safely come off. The last thing you need is a siezure. So yeah see a doctor and get off the alcohol then you can consider getting off Methodone if you still want too. Statistically speaking your probably better off staying on methodone though.
 
I totally agree with cj. First things first, like I said earlier, please ask you Dr about antabuse.

Ash.


I think you should focus on getting off alcohol before you even think about getting off Methodone. Alcohol is going to kill you in the near term where methadone is pretty safe in the clinic setting.

You need to see a doctor about getting on a Librium or other benzo taper. Tapering with alcohol alone is.not really possible from my understanding because of its half life. You need long half-life benzos to safely come off. The last thing you need is a siezure. So yeah see a doctor and get off the alcohol then you can consider getting off Methodone if you still want too. Statistically speaking your probably better off staying on methodone though.
 
Hi Ash. Thanks I'm ok but not great. I just did such a long reply but I think because I just PM'd Dale that maybe it didn't go through I'm not sure how this works yet let me try in a few hours I know I'll still be up
 
Yes thanks CJ alcohol is my main focus as I was fine getting off of it completely last January but all of a sudden a couple months ago a lot of things happened and I just started drinking again. I know I need to get off of it but I'm glad im off of heroin... methadone is not better persay but I know I can do it...it's tough to get off but I did it before with Subutex although not Suboxone it's just I can't for the life of me remember how I did it before because I was so so so drunk all the time
 
Hey Leo,


If you quit before you can do it again. I agree with cj, you need some tapering meds and antabuse to stop the cravings. Methadone will be done down the line. But for now just focus on quitting the alcohol.

We are all here for you. And please be gentle on yourself, you are making important changes.


I also left you a reply over on my thread.
your friend,
Ash.

Yes thanks CJ alcohol is my main focus as I was fine getting off of it completely last January but all of a sudden a couple months ago a lot of things happened and I just started drinking again. I know I need to get off of it but I'm glad im off of heroin... methadone is not better persay but I know I can do it...it's tough to get off but I did it before with Subutex although not Suboxone it's just I can't for the life of me remember how I did it before because I was so so so drunk all the time
 
Methadone maintenance is way way better then heroin. Don't listen to the haters maintenance saves lives
 
Good morning Leo,

Just stopping in to say hello and see how you're doing today?:)

Hugs and here for you,
your friend,
Ash.
 
Hi Leo,

How are you doing today? Are you still of the mind to taper off alcohol? If so, do you have a specific plan for it? I think it would help you to write down the schedule you hope to do, then try to follow it. If you slip, so what - just keep going. Think about the future and what you still hope to do and see, and fight your hardest to get there.

Let me know how things are going for you - ok?

"Forget what hurt you, but never forget what it taught you"
Dale
 
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Hi guys. Thanks so much for checking in with me. I'm doing ok.
I guess my big breakthrough is hubby knows I started drinking again. Which honestly, although I was hiding it, its better and will be much easier to stop. I guess maybe in the back of my mind I was hoping he would cuz its so hard to this alone.
He was sooo mad, but more upset due to my health issues. I told him I gotta do it little by little each day, but thank God its only been a month or so and I hadn't gotten up to the amounts I used to drink.
I don't think it'll be that hard. When I stopped drinking last January (2017)I was drinking 4 times that I am now and I was able to do it although I did have the Librium to help me but if I foresee it's a problem I do go back to my doctor this week and although I don't want to admit to her that I have been drinking, I will. I was told I was "too healthy" to be on the transplant list my past 2 visits, but you have to have 6 months clean to be on it.. I don't understand how stage 4 cirrhosis you can possibly be off of the list but she said I wouldn't qualify because I've been doing so well this past year with my medications even though my liver is completely scarred and it is in no way able to repair itself at this point
Anyway, still stable at 70mg on the methadone and won't go down again til I stop drinking, but I swear after the second night I was waking up around 2 or 3 if I wasn't already up feeling like it was leaving my system getting very uncomfortable after just going down 5 milligrams, I don't know if that's possible or just in my head but I'm definitely not going to go down any further right now.
I'm going to sign off for now I've gone on and on enough for the night. Thanks have a good night everyone.
Leo
 
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Good, better that he knows and you can have some support IRL and here as well. I'm so proud of you for telling him, I mean I know it must have been scary to admit that, but in the long run better for your health and your well being. He can support you now in your quit.

Keep going the way you are, the methadone is fine for now, it's just the alcohol we need to focus on. And if you've done it before you KNOW you can do it again.

So proud of you Leo, thanks for keeping us updated, I was on here looking to see if you posted and there you were!

You can do this and we will all be here supporting you and cheering you on, I know I will!!!

Pm me if you ever need or just want to chat,
hugs,
your friend, Ash.
 
Wow! It's been a long time since I've posted. I actually just got done posting a very lengthy message and the whole thing got deleted so I'm starting again.
. Anyway, I've been doing ok, I do have epilepsy and have kept it at Bay for a while until last Saturday. I had a very bad seizure and my husband even called 911 because it lasted more than 5 mins.
So, I thought it may be due to my cutting down on the wine, but I really hadn't been cutting down as much as I should've been, so I'm not sure what it was due to. I'm still steady with the methadone. It's just so scary when you have a seizure, I mean myself anyway, I completely black out and don't remember anything I just have a very sore tongue from biting it the entire time.
I did get good news from my MRI. My blood work had showed high tumor marker levels but the MRI showed I had no masses or tumors on my liver although the scarring has of course gotten worse... I really really need to stop drinking big time.
Well I've rambled on enough I just want to get this posted before I delete an entire post again like I did a little while ago
Hope all is well in the sober living community!!
 
Hello Leo,

I'm happy to hear from you!! It's great news that you don't have a tumor, now you just have to work on totally cutting the booze out so as not to cause additional scarring.

I hope that your seizures won't reoccur and I am glad you got onto methadone, I know it may not seem like you are where you want to be, but you WILL get there!!! Be kind and patient with yourself, you're making some great choices but it will all take some time.

Very proud of you Leo.

Here for you anytime,
your friend,
Ash.

Wow! It's been a long time since I've posted. I actually just got done posting a very lengthy message and the whole thing got deleted so I'm starting again.
. Anyway, I've been doing ok, I do have epilepsy and have kept it at Bay for a while until last Saturday. I had a very bad seizure and my husband even called 911 because it lasted more than 5 mins.
So, I thought it may be due to my cutting down on the wine, but I really hadn't been cutting down as much as I should've been, so I'm not sure what it was due to. I'm still steady with the methadone. It's just so scary when you have a seizure, I mean myself anyway, I completely black out and don't remember anything I just have a very sore tongue from biting it the entire time.
I did get good news from my MRI. My blood work had showed high tumor marker levels but the MRI showed I had no masses or tumors on my liver although the scarring has of course gotten worse... I really really need to stop drinking big time.
Well I've rambled on enough I just want to get this posted before I delete an entire post again like I did a little while ago
Hope all is well in the sober living community!!
 
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