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Feeling a relapse coming on

Mafioso

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Feb 14, 2010
Messages
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What do you guys do when you feel a relapse brewing?

Just starting to notice the signs.. been real moody and unhappy. Was at my buddy's house playing music when one of his roommates starts talking about methadone and I ended up taking a small dose. Not enough to feel it, but my heart was racing for about 20 minutes and my mind hasn't really shifted off the idea of getting high. That was 2 days ago. Going to counseling this week, but just wondering what other people do. Music is my escape, but it also puts me into somehat risky situations. I'll go back to using drugs before I quit playing music though...
 
Ouch, yeah you're kind of on that precipice...it could easily just slip back into a full-blown habit, if you can't beat those urges - and i know you've been through some hell to get this far, right? Fuck doing that all over again - but it's easier said than done, right?

Do you have any other distractions that can keep you from having too much idle time to sit around dreaming about getting high, and then - y'know, maybe start finding yourself making up excuses why it wouldn't be a bad idea - just for today...and so on.

I don't know where you live, but is it possible to find some forest for a hike, a bike ride or hit the gym or the pool. Natural endorphins may be less appealing than dope, but it's the safer option, and some people swear by exercise as the thing that helped them get through the post-acute wd blues.
For me, nature is a great thing which i can lose myself in - it can be kind of grounding to just wander around in nature.
And if not "nature" specifically, the same idea can apply to urban landscapes - but i just think that there's something about moving and doing stuff to distract your mind and body from boredom, and the cravings.

I don't know if you use other drugs, but i find weed is a good thing for managing cravings - but it's different for everyone; some people can't - or don't like to - smoke weed, but for me it helps a lot.
Each to their own - it's not something i'd necessarily recommend, but it works ok for me :)

I hope you can push through this, and stay strong. Sounds like street opiates are literally like russian roulette in lots of places...again, i don't know your situation or where you live - but it's scary to think what dangerous shit any one of us would do for a fix if we're strung out. Given the deadly nature of all the fent analogues that are everywhere, desperate addicts are so fucking vulnerable.
It's a sad, scary state of affairs, and i hope you find whatever it takes to ride out those cravings - or avoid having them, or them having power over you.
Anyway, i really enjoy your posts, i always enjoy your point of view, so i just wanted to reply and say you owe yourself better than the life you're condemned to as an addict. Getting high feels like freeing your mind, but it's actually the exact opposite.

All the best, man <3
 
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