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Thread: HELP with CRAVINGS and Relapse

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    HELP with CRAVINGS and Relapse 
    #1
    Bluelighter
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    Unhappy
    Hello everyone;

    So I have been here a while and over the past 5 months I have been able to lower my dose of Suboxone from 8 to 12mg a day all the way to zero about 6 weeks ago. Since then I have been completely clean and sober. Two weeks ago I got a drug screen done and I had nothing is my urine or blood.

    My problem is the past 2 days (and VERY LONG NIGHTS) I have been REALLY craving more any type of RX with Opium. I really Do Not Want To Use and I need to know how long these cravings last? Do they eventually go away? What can I do to help? I do not want to use anything narcotic or trade one habit for another.

    I am not even taking any sleeping pills, OTC or by script. The first while was fine and them all of a sudden I get this itch and I start to think about using and just defeating everything I work up to.

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    #2
    Hello!
    I don't have any experience with Suboxone, but I am about 2 weeks sober as well from oxycodone. I actually just posted a few minutes ago that the drug cravings have been very strong here lately. All of my physical symptoms are just about gone, but now I just crave the energy to do the things I used to. For so long life revolved around pills so it's hard to do simple things like run errands without them. So, no real advice..just solidarity. You're not alone.
    -B
    '
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    #3
    Senior Moderator
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    Captain.Heroin's Avatar
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    My hopes are blighted, my heart is broken, my life a burden, everything around me is sad and mournful; earth has become distasteful to me, and human voices distract me. It is mercy to let me die, for if I live I shall lose my reason and become mad.
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    Even months after quitting suboxone (the first time that I failed) I wanted to use again; the whole time, and did at month 7, used for 5 more months and then quit; have been off it since.

    I needed to address my mental health issues and was not doing so at the time.
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    #4
    Bluelighter
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    Wolf359loki, thank you for sharing something very real and meaningful with all of us. The feeling will pass if you allow it to.

    I was told a half-truth as a child. Everyone around me would say, "time heals all wounds." It was only partially true. See these people around me did not know that I am a picker. Time does not heal wounds for an obsessive picker like me. Time will only heal my wounds if I leave them alone, but I have the tendency to tear at my wounds to watch them bleed. As an example, if intense dishonesty has caused a minor scrape in my life, I will find myself lying again to not face the reality of my situation: pick. If drugs have caused a gash, I think more drugs will solve my problem: tear. Maybe you identify with this maybe you don't. I will say that finding something to distract you from your current wound will help it heal. If you current wound is a craving for drugs then obsessing about an obsession is probably not the best way to let that wound heal. I have found that if I fellowship with other pickers like myself then I allow myself the opportunity to heal because no one can spot a picker like another picker. Now just because someone tells me to "stop picking!" doesn't mean I will abide. In fact, sometimes it makes me want to pick more. What does your social circle look like?
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    #5
    Hey wolf,

    I left you a reply over on my thread.

    And yes, the cravings will pass, we are here for you,

    Your friend,
    Ash.
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    #6
    Bluelighter
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    Thanks you everyone who replied, and I hope the ones that just read get something out of this.

    So 17 days more of being clean. I took many things people shared with me to heart. I got past that hump and did not slip. The feelings did go away and after I noticed a big up swing in my mood and mind. Almost like breaking through a stage or something. At that time I did not go to the Doctor for help, I did however start to read more on "comfort" meds and I went and obtained a script for seroquel (use as needed), a powerful Antacid (my good the heartburn!!!) and found a good guy who is local and knows a TON about Kratom as he was once in many of our shoes. Now his legit job is as the Kratom Guy distributor and has some blends targeted to where you are in recovery. More Sleepy for the first while, one with more euphoria for days requiring some of that and others for energy, mind and body.

    Another thing that helped me was watching peoples recovery stories on YouTube. Some were just very low budget but real people who struggled too. Some were full of all kinds of truth and that helped me a lot.

    (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P61agFxuu8k)

    I was very happy I had made those preparations because I had a couple of hard days this week too. I even found my self being short with people and that is just not me at all. The craving had returned very quietly and I had to do something to get that back and past this hump. So far so good. Between the small hurtles I do seem to be emerging as my old self. I used to be a person who whistle in the car to music or sing along. The other day I just fell back into that habit and it made me feel good. Now I just look forward to the next break through point to see what comes next.

    Kratom is not something I have used much. Out of 6 or 7 days of craving I used it 3 times maybe. I will keep posting, reading and maybe helping where I can.

    THANK YOU ALL.
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    #7
    Bluelighter
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    Oh yeah. Just for full transparency I am also taking 2 peptides (Selank 5mg/W Semax 10mg a week) and Human Growth Hormones to help with healing and brain chemistry.
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    #8
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    Be careful with the kratom it can become an addiction all on it's own.

    BTW I love your username. Big Star trek fan
    Last edited by cj; 23-06-2018 at 22:51.
    Addicted? Want to stop? We can help! Come to the sober living forum!
    http://www.bluelight.org/vb/forums/269-Sober-Living
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