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    HELP with CRAVINGS and Relapse 
    #1
    Bluelighter wolf359loki's Avatar
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    Hello everyone;

    So I have been here a while and over the past 5 months I have been able to lower my dose of Suboxone from 8 to 12mg a day all the way to zero about 6 weeks ago. Since then I have been completely clean and sober. Two weeks ago I got a drug screen done and I had nothing is my urine or blood.

    My problem is the past 2 days (and VERY LONG NIGHTS) I have been REALLY craving more any type of RX with Opium. I really Do Not Want To Use and I need to know how long these cravings last? Do they eventually go away? What can I do to help? I do not want to use anything narcotic or trade one habit for another.

    I am not even taking any sleeping pills, OTC or by script. The first while was fine and them all of a sudden I get this itch and I start to think about using and just defeating everything I work up to.

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    #2
    Hello!
    I don't have any experience with Suboxone, but I am about 2 weeks sober as well from oxycodone. I actually just posted a few minutes ago that the drug cravings have been very strong here lately. All of my physical symptoms are just about gone, but now I just crave the energy to do the things I used to. For so long life revolved around pills so it's hard to do simple things like run errands without them. So, no real advice..just solidarity. You're not alone.
    -B
    '
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    #3
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    Even months after quitting suboxone (the first time that I failed) I wanted to use again; the whole time, and did at month 7, used for 5 more months and then quit; have been off it since.

    I needed to address my mental health issues and was not doing so at the time.
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    #4
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    Wolf359loki, thank you for sharing something very real and meaningful with all of us. The feeling will pass if you allow it to.

    I was told a half-truth as a child. Everyone around me would say, "time heals all wounds." It was only partially true. See these people around me did not know that I am a picker. Time does not heal wounds for an obsessive picker like me. Time will only heal my wounds if I leave them alone, but I have the tendency to tear at my wounds to watch them bleed. As an example, if intense dishonesty has caused a minor scrape in my life, I will find myself lying again to not face the reality of my situation: pick. If drugs have caused a gash, I think more drugs will solve my problem: tear. Maybe you identify with this maybe you don't. I will say that finding something to distract you from your current wound will help it heal. If you current wound is a craving for drugs then obsessing about an obsession is probably not the best way to let that wound heal. I have found that if I fellowship with other pickers like myself then I allow myself the opportunity to heal because no one can spot a picker like another picker. Now just because someone tells me to "stop picking!" doesn't mean I will abide. In fact, sometimes it makes me want to pick more. What does your social circle look like?
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    #5
    Hey wolf,

    I left you a reply over on my thread.

    And yes, the cravings will pass, we are here for you,

    Your friend,
    Ash.
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    #6
    Bluelighter wolf359loki's Avatar
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    Thanks you everyone who replied, and I hope the ones that just read get something out of this.

    So 17 days more of being clean. I took many things people shared with me to heart. I got past that hump and did not slip. The feelings did go away and after I noticed a big up swing in my mood and mind. Almost like breaking through a stage or something. At that time I did not go to the Doctor for help, I did however start to read more on "comfort" meds and I went and obtained a script for seroquel (use as needed), a powerful Antacid (my good the heartburn!!!) and found a good guy who is local and knows a TON about Kratom as he was once in many of our shoes. Now his legit job is as the Kratom Guy distributor and has some blends targeted to where you are in recovery. More Sleepy for the first while, one with more euphoria for days requiring some of that and others for energy, mind and body.

    Another thing that helped me was watching peoples recovery stories on YouTube. Some were just very low budget but real people who struggled too. Some were full of all kinds of truth and that helped me a lot.

    (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P61agFxuu8k)

    I was very happy I had made those preparations because I had a couple of hard days this week too. I even found my self being short with people and that is just not me at all. The craving had returned very quietly and I had to do something to get that back and past this hump. So far so good. Between the small hurtles I do seem to be emerging as my old self. I used to be a person who whistle in the car to music or sing along. The other day I just fell back into that habit and it made me feel good. Now I just look forward to the next break through point to see what comes next.

    Kratom is not something I have used much. Out of 6 or 7 days of craving I used it 3 times maybe. I will keep posting, reading and maybe helping where I can.

    THANK YOU ALL.
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    #7
    Bluelighter wolf359loki's Avatar
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    Oh yeah. Just for full transparency I am also taking 2 peptides (Selank 5mg/W Semax 10mg a week) and Human Growth Hormones to help with healing and brain chemistry.
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    #8
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    Be careful with the kratom it can become an addiction all on it's own.

    BTW I love your username. Big Star trek fan
    Last edited by cj; 23-06-2018 at 22:51.
    Addicted? Want to stop? We can help! Come to the sober living forum!
    http://www.bluelight.org/vb/forums/269-Sober-Living
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    #9
    Hi Wolf,

    Just checking in to see how you're doing?

    Here for,

    your friend,
    Ash.
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    #10
    Bluelighter wolf359loki's Avatar
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    Hey Everyone;

    So I spent the summer with my wife who has been away for her education. It has been going great and I am past all the cravings as far as I can tell. I have not slipped or replaced my chemical addiction with anything else. I am getting ready to head back into the gym and get back to where I was physically a few years ago.

    I want to thank everyone and I am still reading and following up with my sober living choices. I am grateful for everyone here and will always pay that forward any chance I get.

    Stay strong and keep living one day at a time and never quit trying to quit.
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    #11
    Awesome job my dear friend!!!

    I have been thinking about you and wondering how you were doing, and now I know, you're amazing!!!! Enjoy the rest of you summer with your lovely wife!

    Here if you need anything,
    your friend,
    Ash.

    Quote Originally Posted by wolf359loki View Post
    Hey Everyone;

    So I spent the summer with my wife who has been away for her education. It has been going great and I am past all the cravings as far as I can tell. I have not slipped or replaced my chemical addiction with anything else. I am getting ready to head back into the gym and get back to where I was physically a few years ago.

    I want to thank everyone and I am still reading and following up with my sober living choices. I am grateful for everyone here and will always pay that forward any chance I get.

    Stay strong and keep living one day at a time and never quit trying to quit.
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    #12
    Bluelighter ladyhlove's Avatar
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    Kratom is still an opiate. Maybe not legally..but it affects the same receptors and is just as addicting. Kratom was actually my gateway opiate, so to speak. I took it everyday, then it didnt work anymore, and a morphine er pill connection came into my life..all the way to heroin. Just saying, be careful. Cravings are a natural part of recovery but they do fade, esp the longer we're away from our doc
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    #13
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    Just to reiterate what others have said: Yes, the cravings do fade. Fleeting thoughts of using probably never go away-- my sponsor has 39 yrs sober and still gets them now & then. But serious urges do indeed fade with time.

    Hang in there.

    Peace&Love,
    jasper
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    #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolf359loki View Post
    Hey Everyone;

    So I spent the summer with my wife who has been away for her education. It has been going great and I am past all the cravings as far as I can tell. I have not slipped or replaced my chemical addiction with anything else. I am getting ready to head back into the gym and get back to where I was physically a few years ago.

    I want to thank everyone and I am still reading and following up with my sober living choices. I am grateful for everyone here and will always pay that forward any chance I get.

    Stay strong and keep living one day at a time and never quit trying to quit.
    Are you using kratom OP? It’s okay if you are, no shame in that whatsoever. Using kratom can still be a step in the right direction. It’s just not clear.

    Regarding cravings, please look into “urge surfing” techniques. Very powerful for managing and moving beyond the intensity of cravings.

    Likewise, look into Mindfulness Based Relapse Prevention. Even if you can’t take a class/program for it, even learning about how it works can be helpful.

    Keep up the good work!
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    #15
    Bluelighter wolf359loki's Avatar
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    Hey guys. No I am not using Kratom and never used it very much when I was coming off. I did use it a few times for managing some pain and I have been developing a couple of blends to help athletes. I have a small business that does fitness consulting and I work with semi-Pro and Pro athletes, clients in weigh class sports (fighters or climbers), military/law enforcement and even entertainers with specific goals. These are not people who need hand holding in the gym, but people who already know how to train, but need to meet a goal. The three I developed are for pain management due to injuries, a pre-workout with no chemicals and one to help with post workout recovery and sleep. As you may see with many of my post I speak to peptides and HGH as a product that I am familiar with. So my consulting does get into the chemical areas of performance too. The idea for these kratom based products came from reading much on here. During that development I did use it for a few weeks and then simply gor to busy to bother with it. When I was in my early 30's I was 600 pounds. My specialty now is metabolic rates and how to increase those for people that need it. Soon I will be back in the gym and getting my own metabolic rate back up and dropping back to my normal weight of about 240 to 250 pounds. I will post s photo on my profile from the neck down, or you can look my coaching page up on FB, From Lard to Hard for before and after photos and my journey.

    Like I also mentioned in the past I have never really had any chemical addictions except Food of course so even though the kratom helped me, I was not a huge fan. Stopping it did not trigger any cravings or with draw. Not to hard to step away from it as far as I can see or feel now that I had some experience with it.

    Currently I am working on isometric routines to get my tendons and joints stronger to avoid any injuries when I start to lift again in September. Now that my wife is back in school and away I have my son full time and hs primary care giver. He is back in school in a few weeks (grade 1) so I will be back in the gym again then. I think that will be how I cope going forward with Relapse Prevention and "urge surfing", but those are also great classes and programs.

    Someone also asked me if I was going to go and post in the Performance Enhancing form and to be honest I would more than likely get banned or hated as most of the stuff over there id BroScience and 95% out of date and disposable. I read it once in a while for a giggle.
    Last edited by wolf359loki; 11-08-2018 at 08:41. Reason: Trying to add a before and after photo...
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    #16
    Wow wolf, you've got a lot going on, so happy for you, what a huge turn around, you're showing others how things can change for the better!! So proud of you!!!!

    I'm going to go look at the facebook page you mentioned!!!

    The work you do sounds very exciting and fulfilling!!!

    And tell me more about this blend for pain management due to injuries. Because that's my reality and I am always looking for ways to help myself.

    Enjoy the rest of the summer with your lovely boy wolf!!

    Hugs,
    your friend,
    Ash.
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    #17
    Hi wolf,

    I went and had a look at your page on facebook called lard to hard, wow, your transformation is so fantastic I was crying!!!

    You have put in so much hard work and now you have your life and your health back, lovely to see wolf!!

    I am quite into health/fitness myself and I suffer from chronic pain in the way of Degenerative disc disease, several herniated discs and spinal fusions.

    I am very interested in your supplements to help with chronic pain, is it the K- power red that is meant for these issues?

    Whenever you have the time I would be very interested to hear more about it.

    Great job wolf, I couldn't be happier for you and I hope you're having the best summer with your little guy!!

    Hugs,
    your friend,
    Ash.
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    #18
    Bluelighter wolf359loki's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EPL1 View Post
    Hi wolf,

    I went and had a look at your page on facebook called lard to hard, wow, your transformation is so fantastic I was crying!!!

    You have put in so much hard work and now you have your life and your health back, lovely to see wolf!!

    I am quite into health/fitness myself and I suffer from chronic pain in the way of Degenerative disc disease, several herniated discs and spinal fusions.

    I am very interested in your supplements to help with chronic pain, is it the K- power red that is meant for these issues?

    Whenever you have the time I would be very interested to hear more about it.

    Great job wolf, I couldn't be happier for you and I hope you're having the best summer with your little guy!!

    Hugs,
    your friend,
    Ash.
    Yeah thank you very much. I used that experience to help with my coming off the RX. I had to look back and remind my self that I have accomplished difficult things in the past. That I am able to set goals and achieve that with hard work. Also that there can be good pain in life and sometimes we have to suffer and struggle to reach those goals. Life is often about making the correct decisions not just a few times, but over and over again. Most of the time that tough option or the boring option is the right option. As we start to string those choices together week after week, month on top of month soon the years do go by and we are much closer to out dreams. Yes, sometimes you do make the wrong decision or maybe the immature or fun one is a better way to put it. The idea is to not make big bad ones, but perhaps ones that are not so bad. If you have enough Karma built up from the right choices you can get away with a few poor ones in your life.

    Anyway another month in the good books for me now. 4 months now and feeling good. I am set to hit the gym again in a week (after my son is back in school) and dedicate the next 10 months to a strict routine of getting healthy again. Hopefully all the time I had to take off to deal with my injuries will be the last for a while. In the past I had taken time to heal from other things and came back again. I was out for 9 months with a badly injured shoulder that required 8 hours of surgery to rebuild. The even had to move a muscle from my upper back to hold the bone in the shoulder socket. I had 3 months of recover and then 6 months of physiotherapy for that injury. So I know I can make it back again.

    I will keep updates here and hope to hear from other when you all get the chance to write.

    Good Luck and all the best.
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