bug got me during dmt, now bugs appear...

[smow queed`]

hello! i used to post on bluelight under the name, how the gods chill, but i can't seem to remember the login info, but that's not of any concern, what is of concern though is a strange experience that i think really is more puzzling to me than it is anything else. i really want some insight on this situation and bluelight is one of the few places where i feel like i'll be taken seriously and also hopefully receive some thoughtful and honest insight/discussion on this.

and i guess i just needa jump into it...
so i guess if anyone has any insight or even has had an experience similar to this please share, and if anyone knows of anywhere, any studies or other legitimate research that i could submit my experiences regarding this too, i'd appreciate a link, you can dm it to me or post it here, doesn't matter.

but to keep it short, last night i was hanging with a friend outside and we got a little campfire going, and i was sitting in a chair and we were passing a dmt cart back n forth and everything was going as expected. about 20 mins of sitting there, and right after i had taken a few big puffs, which was kinda wild because one puff would was more than plenty, and then suddenly a bug got me real fuckin good on my arm. put me in a state of panic momentarily, and then that subsided, and it wasn't anything that seemed out of the ordinary. i was a little bit jumpy for a little bit after that.

fast forward 6 - 8 hours, while alone and inside, i decided to get a nice little session in with the same dmt cart that i was doing when that bug got me. i took a big puff and often i'll look up at a ceramics piece i made over a decade ago that was entirely dmt inspired whenever i do dmt around it. and i saw fuckin bugs on it. it really caught me off guard. they looked very real but i'm fully aware that they are not. they went away as the dmt faded.

i can't help but think that it's obvious that the one incident is the factor in the latter occurring.

i suppose i could throw in something humorous in that about a month ago, i had music up LOUD and had ended up doing a lot more dmt than i intended, which was fine and everything was going well, until suddenly i was being attacked, something hit me in the back of the head hard and i reacted instantly and was throwing all kindsa punches at it just to realize that the bass had knocked a book off the shelf and it hit me on the head, but i haven't seen any books in any dmt experiences, so what the fuck is all this bug nonsense about? i can also add that the cart is extremely potent, so much so that it's not one that i would feel good about sharing with anyone that i'm not extremely close friends with, and while i don't have any doubts that what i've experienced is something that could occur, i've never had any experience even remotely close to this, or if i heard someone else say this, i'd assume it was bullshit.
perhaps stress, cortisol levels could be a large factor in this?

i'll try to give some more background context in a minute but this is where i'm at with all of this.

 

[smow queed`]

i have no history of any mental illness in which hallucinations occur. mentally and emotionally i've been more stable than i have been in quite a few years, i'm often all over the place, i'm an artist and musician and music producer and have struggled with drug addiction all of my adult life, 8 years ago i was going hard, super hard with opioids, alotta heroin, oxys, opana, dilaudid, morphine, and meth and coke when it was around, and i was trappin hard to make it all happen, i was seeing alot of success in that game, if you wanna call it that, but however much i would make was devoured by my addiction, an all too familiar story that i know many people relate too. but after a chain of events and close friends and family members dying back to back, i decided i needed to do something for a few reasons, one of them being that in my heart and in my mind i could feel a heaviness, dread, an impending doom, maybe death, maybe prison, closing in on me. and basically, i was getting so dopesick, now i know that it was probably because i was doing a variety of different opioids constantly, maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if i had stuck with one. so i had tried to hop onto subuxone/subutex and i ended up maxing out on it and the doctor and nurses were kinda shocked to see i was still sick as fuck. it was suggested to me to detox somewhere, but then it was mentioned in passing that methadone could cover all of the withdrawal symptoms, and i really wish i had been able to process everything how i would have if i wasn't sick, because i would have just gone somewhere to detox, but instead i ended up at the methadone clinic for 5 - 6 years, but tapered off and had taken my last dose about 2 years ago, and something inside ignited and turned up my creative drive and desire to create at a level i've never experienced before, so i've been all in on making music and art, as well as i can, and really pushing myself and it's quickly become a very cathartic and therapeutic process that often is something that i feel i need and have to do.
i guess i can touch on that i've used and abused a fair amount of psychedelics, disassociates, mdma/mda, all kindsa of analogs and other peculiar compounds, and when i say a fair amount, i mean like a bluelight fair amount, and this whole situation is strange as fuck to me, and completely unexpected, and entirely unprecedented.

i dunno what to think about it to be honest. anybody got any insight?