A long time ago, I was basically forced to stop drinking alcohol(before getting chirosis and becoming physically allergic and quitting for good) and started drinking hugh amounts of coffee. I would drink pot after pot of coffee; I really enjoyed the caffeine rush, and used it a substitute for beer.( Yes I know alcohol is a downer and caffeine a stimulant) One day, I ran out of coffee, and had no way to get to the store to buy more. I was ended with a hugh surprise; I got a headache that was worse than most migraines. I really didn't know this could happen, or at least this bad. Ever since then I have been scared of caffeine and I generally only drink soft drinks that are caffeine free now. In fact, I used to love iced tea and cola soft drinks. But that headache and having to basically taper down and get off caffeine( I am being serious) actually traumatized me to the point that I changed my soft drinking habits. I know tea and soft drinks with caffeine have considerably less caffeine in them, then coffee, and have only recently began to occasionally drink them in moderation. ( I know it sounds stupid but, that headache scared me the point that I haven't had even a sip of coffee in 20+ years) Even though I went through countless bouts of severe alcohol withdrawal without anything to help, I still have a fear of too much caffeine.
No need to worry. Your experience is probably more common than many think and caffeine withdrawal headaches can be very severe. on many occasions, I have been physically sick, almost unable to move and vomited from the severity of caffeine withdrawal headaches, it really is no joke.
Like you, I love the caffeine rush and even if I don’t get a buzz, The feeling of being almost instantaneously jolted awake is amazing in its own right. i’ve always loved caffeine, and that’s why I was deeply saddened when it temporarily stopped working for me during my anhedonia episode last year. so glad to have it working again for me now.
On your point about the different pharmacology of alcohol and caffeine, it’s not actually surprising you enjoyed them both. interestingly, despite alcohol, technically being a CNS depressant, Repeated ingestion results in sensitisation where it begins to produce significance stimulant effects. this is because tolerance develops to the inhibitory effects of alcohol in most brain regions, so effects like drowsiness, pain, relief, and impact on body temperature diminish over time with repeated use. however, the ability of alcohol to triggered dopamine release remains fully intact as does behavioural disinhibition.
Taking caffeine whilst in or shortly after alcohol detox is probably a bad idea as it might increase anxiety, relapse and possibly seizures as the brain is in a very excitable state.
However, I assume you developed your caffeine habit long after stopping alcohol, in which case the above mentioned risks don’t apply. You probably enjoyed caffeine as much as alcohol because it corrected any residual dopamine deficiency by sensitising dopamine receptors.
I don’t blame you for being traumatised by a caffeine headache, so my advice to you is as follows.
Firstly, do what feels right for you. If your energy levels and well-being are stable and you see no need for caffeine, you can stick to caffeine free alternatives or occasional caffeine use.
On the other hand, if you practically benefited from it, or simply miss it, you could consider going back to full-time use. caffeine is very cheap and available everywhere. to address your concern about headache, just keep some high strength ibuprofen or which ever painkiller works best with you as these should completely stop the headache in its tracks. you could also carry caffeine pills around with you and keep some at home in case you run out of caffeinated beverages. just try not to use the pills when you don’t need them as it defeats the point of having them as an emergency backup.