Hey Guys.
I've got a real problem. I've suffered with depression, anxiety, autism and ADHD for 25-40 years. No medication has ever helped. I used to get some relief by occasionally taking coke and MDMA and for many years chronically smoked cannabis. It helped all helped me cope. But over the last 20 years, I had a break from coke and MDMA, until a year ago because I basically couldn't get any, and over the last few years stopped smoking weed because it was just getting too expensive and wasn't doing much for me, or anything actually. But a year ago I started getting desperate, wanted to feel some euphoria again so tried taking MDMA, coke, ketamine, LSD, shrooms, weed and benzos. But the only thing which had any effect on me was ketamine, and I can't say I liked the feeling. It was like being both drunk and stoned, but in a bad way. I just felt very disoriented and a bit nauseous. But everything else did literally nothing. No psychoactive effect whatsoever.
Firstly, does anyone have any idea why such a wide plethora of drugs basically do absolutely nothing for me anymore? Has it happened to anyone else? I literally hadn't taken any for like 20 years, so there's no way it's tolerance. And besides, they literally did absolutely nothing. Even with high tolerance, I should feel **something**, right?? Is it maybe because I've been on various antipychotics and antidepressants for 20 years? Have the pharma meds fucked up a whole bunch of my receptors or something? I came off antidepressants a year ago cos I was just fed up of them doing nothing but giving me side effects, yet even after a year of being off them I'm still immune to literally every drug I've tried, besides ketamine which I didn't like at all. Could it be the antipsychotics I've still been taking?
Secondly, could anyone suggest any other drugs I could try? I don't want to try anything like meth or heroin which are extremely addictive, but anything which works differently to MDMA/coke/weed but has similar euphoric effects?
I'm so fucking fed up of having no enjoyment in life, I'm often suicidal out of the desperation of facing stone cold sober consciousness and feelings of dread every day, the only thing that has ever given relief has been illicit drugs, psychiatrists have been almost completely useless and suicidal thoughts have been coming and going for the last 22 years. If I can't get enjoyment out of life again some how, it's probably just a matter of time until I kill myself. No fucking way am I willing to live like this for another 40-50 years. Alcohol doesn't really agree with me, either. Sure I can get drunk but I can't say it makes me feel particularly good. Maybe just a bit numb but then I have to face a fucking hangover the next day, and sometimes it triggers awful awful anxiety for days afterwards.
Unfortunately antidepressants have literally done nothing for me, ever. Psychiatry is still in the fucking dark ages. No-one has been able to help me in 25 years of seeing a plethora of psychiatrists, being on a plethora of antidepressants. The only relief I've ever gotten was from illegal drugs, but I seem to have exhausted all the mainstream ones that aren't excessively harmful, that I know of, nothing works for me anymore. Please can anyone suggest any more novel ones that might work for me? I know benzos and coke are known for being really addictive but I've not got hooked on them in the past, I only really ever developed a habit with weed. But from what I understand, meth and heroin are incredibly addictive and I want to avoid those because their addictiveness seems to be on another level entirely, not that I have first hand experience, thankfully.
Thanks!
I've got a real problem. I've suffered with depression, anxiety, autism and ADHD for 25-40 years. No medication has ever helped. I used to get some relief by occasionally taking coke and MDMA and for many years chronically smoked cannabis. It helped all helped me cope. But over the last 20 years, I had a break from coke and MDMA, until a year ago because I basically couldn't get any, and over the last few years stopped smoking weed because it was just getting too expensive and wasn't doing much for me, or anything actually. But a year ago I started getting desperate, wanted to feel some euphoria again so tried taking MDMA, coke, ketamine, LSD, shrooms, weed and benzos. But the only thing which had any effect on me was ketamine, and I can't say I liked the feeling. It was like being both drunk and stoned, but in a bad way. I just felt very disoriented and a bit nauseous. But everything else did literally nothing. No psychoactive effect whatsoever.
Firstly, does anyone have any idea why such a wide plethora of drugs basically do absolutely nothing for me anymore? Has it happened to anyone else? I literally hadn't taken any for like 20 years, so there's no way it's tolerance. And besides, they literally did absolutely nothing. Even with high tolerance, I should feel **something**, right?? Is it maybe because I've been on various antipychotics and antidepressants for 20 years? Have the pharma meds fucked up a whole bunch of my receptors or something? I came off antidepressants a year ago cos I was just fed up of them doing nothing but giving me side effects, yet even after a year of being off them I'm still immune to literally every drug I've tried, besides ketamine which I didn't like at all. Could it be the antipsychotics I've still been taking?
Secondly, could anyone suggest any other drugs I could try? I don't want to try anything like meth or heroin which are extremely addictive, but anything which works differently to MDMA/coke/weed but has similar euphoric effects?
I'm so fucking fed up of having no enjoyment in life, I'm often suicidal out of the desperation of facing stone cold sober consciousness and feelings of dread every day, the only thing that has ever given relief has been illicit drugs, psychiatrists have been almost completely useless and suicidal thoughts have been coming and going for the last 22 years. If I can't get enjoyment out of life again some how, it's probably just a matter of time until I kill myself. No fucking way am I willing to live like this for another 40-50 years. Alcohol doesn't really agree with me, either. Sure I can get drunk but I can't say it makes me feel particularly good. Maybe just a bit numb but then I have to face a fucking hangover the next day, and sometimes it triggers awful awful anxiety for days afterwards.
Unfortunately antidepressants have literally done nothing for me, ever. Psychiatry is still in the fucking dark ages. No-one has been able to help me in 25 years of seeing a plethora of psychiatrists, being on a plethora of antidepressants. The only relief I've ever gotten was from illegal drugs, but I seem to have exhausted all the mainstream ones that aren't excessively harmful, that I know of, nothing works for me anymore. Please can anyone suggest any more novel ones that might work for me? I know benzos and coke are known for being really addictive but I've not got hooked on them in the past, I only really ever developed a habit with weed. But from what I understand, meth and heroin are incredibly addictive and I want to avoid those because their addictiveness seems to be on another level entirely, not that I have first hand experience, thankfully.
Thanks!