• DPMC Moderators: thegreenhand | tryptakid
  • Drug Policy & Media Coverage Welcome Guest
    View threads about
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Drug Busts Megathread Video Megathread

Are Your Parents Using Drugs Pt. 2 (Funny)

Pharcyde

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 1, 2003
Messages
49,956
What Kids Need To Know About: MARIJUANA
Your Parents May Call It...
Aunt Mary, Chronic, Dope, Ganja, Grass, Hash, Herb, Kif, Kind Bud, Mary Jane, Pot, Reefer, Skunk, Weed
What Does This Drug Do To Your Parents?
They feel good. Good and hungry!
What Do You Parents Experience?
Distorted Perception,trouble thinking and problem solving, impaired motor coordination and an increased heart rate. They are hungry, giddy and feel like a big, warm blanket is being wrapped around their brains
How Can You ID This Drug?
A green or brown mixture of dried, shredded flowers and leaves of the hemp plant.
How Can You Spot A User Of This Drug?
Sedation, redness of eyes
Typical Parent Behavior...
They will suddenly decide, at 3am that its a good idea to clean the chimny. They will fail and then track soot all over the house.
How Long Will It Stay In Your Parents System?
Up to 30 days


What Kids Need To Know About: COCAINE
Your Parents May Call It...
Blow, Columbian Marching Powder, Devils Dandruff, Flake, Lady, Nose Candy, Snow, Rock , White Streak
What Does This Drug Do To Your Parents?
They feel good, Good and alert!
What Do You Parents Experience?
Cocaine blocks the normal recycling of dopamine, a naturally occuring substance that makes your brain feel good. It produces euphoric effects including energy, mental clarity and reduced fatigue - and it increases body temperature.
How Can You ID This Drug?
Its comes in 2 forms : powder and crack. Cocaine hydrocloride is a white powder, and crack is cocaine HCI that has been processed with ammonia or baking soda and water into freebase cocaine, which turns into chips,chunkcs or rocks. Its a much cheaper and shorter high.
How Can You Spot A User Of This Drug?
Sweating, diliated pupils, grinding jaw. Plus a cocaine user will rell you everything about his life as if each single thought is meaningful.
Typical Parent Behavior...
Being awake at 5am wondering where the after-party is.
How Long Will It Stay In Your Parents System?
2-4 days.

What kids need to know about: ECSTACY (MDMA)
Your Parents May Call It...
Adam, Bean, E, M, Roll, X, XTC
What Does This Drug Do To Your Parents?
They feel good, good and affectionate!
What Do You Parents Experience?
Reportedly MDMAs psychedelic effects are much milder that those produced by LSD and mescaline. Useres say it produces profoundly positive feelings, empathy for others, elimination of anxiety and extreme relaxation. Its also said to suppress the need to eat,drink, or sleep, enabling users to endure 2-3 day parties. Effects vary with the individual taking it; the dose and purity; and the enviroment in which its taken.
How Can You ID This Drug?
MDMA is take orally usually in tablet or capsule form. Traffickers may use brand names and logos to distinguish their product from that of competitors. If a dealer says he has "pure stuff" your parents are gunna wanna try it. In powder form it can be mixed in water and is exceptional, your folks will learn.
How Can You Spot A User Of This Drug?
Muscle cramping, involuntary teeth clenching, nausea, blurred vision, rapid eye movement, faintness and chills or sweating. Eagerness to touch everyone and everything. Users want to dance all the time - even while hes peeing, which he will be doing incessantly
Typical Parent Behavior...
Telling you they love you very much - maybe even unconditionally!
How Long Will It Stay In Your Parents System?
1-3 days


What Kids Need To Know About: LSD
Your Parents May Call It...
Acid, Blotter, Doses, Hits, Microdot, Sugar Cubes, Tabs, Trips
What Does This Drug Do To Your Parents?
They feel good, good and trippy.
What Do You Parents Experience?
LSD kicks in 30 to 90 minutes after being taken and typically begins to clear after 12 hours. Effects - such as high body temp, increased heart rate and blood pressure, loss of appetite, sleeplessness and cool stuff like being able to see soungs and hear colors - depend on the amount taken; the suers personality, mood and expectations; and the surroundings in which the drug is used.
How Can You ID This Drug?
Sold in liquid or tablet form, on sugar cubes, in thin squares of gelatin and most commonly, as blotter paper (sheets of paper soaked in LSD)
How Can You Spot A User Of This Drug?
Dilated pupils, sweating, nausea, a Greatful Dead collection so voluminous that it contains 23 seperate versions of "Fire on the Mountain"
Typical Parent Behavior...
Staring at backs of their hands then asking to stare at the backs of your hands....during a flashback 6 months later.
How Long Will It Stay In Your Parents System?
1-4 days

What Kids Need To Know About: METH-AMPHETAMINE
Your Parents May Call It...
Chalk, Crank, Croak, Crypto, Crystal, Glass, Ice, Meth, Speed, White Cross
What Does This Drug Do To Your Parents?
They feel good, good and agitated!
What Do You Parents Experience?
Increased acticity, decreased appetite anda general sense of confidence. The initial rush or flash last only a few minutes, then there is trypically a state of high agitation that sometimes leads to violent behavior.
How Can You ID This Drug?
Am pdpr;ess, bitter-tasting white or somtimes yellow powder thats sometimes comes in large rocklike chunks. The powder flakes off the rock in glasslike shards.
How Can You Spot A User Of This Drug?
Wakefulness irregular heartbeat, euphoria, irritability, confusion, tremors, convulsions, paranoia and agression.
Typical Parent Behavior...
Picking a fight with their reflection in the toaster.
How Long Will It Stay In Your Parents System?
2-4 Days

What Kids Need To Know About : KETAMINE
Your Parents May Call It...
Bump, Ketaject, Ketelar, Psychadelic Heroin, Special K, Vitamin K
What Does This Drug Do To Your Parents?
They feel good, good and detached!
What Do You Parents Experience?
Effects similar to PCP, with the visual hallucinations of LSD - a floating feelings or a sense of being seperated from ones body. Some experiences involve a terrifying feeling of almost complete sensory detachment that is likened to a near-death experience.
How Can You ID This Drug?
Normally found in liquid form, ketamine is converted to a white powder and repackeged in baggies or capsules. Its often snorted or smoked with marijuana or tobacco or compressed into pills.
How Can You Spot A User Of This Drug?
Delerium, impaired motor function, convulsions and vomiting
Typical Parent Behavior...
Lying motionless while, um.... lying motionless
How Long Will It Stay In Your Parents System?
About a week

What Kids Need To Know About: HEROIN
Your Parents May Call It...
Big H, Blakctar, Brown Sugar, Dope, Horse, Junk, Mud, Skag, Smack
What Does This Drug Do To Your Parents?
They feel good, until they die.
What Do You Parents Experience?
Exhiliration, including a wamr flush and an orgasmic sensation. After the initial effects users usually will be drowsy and tranquil for sevrel hours. Cardiac function and breathing are severly slowed
How Can You ID This Drug?
White to dark-brown powder or a tarlike substance
How Can You Spot A User Of This Drug?
Depressed respiration, constipation, nausea, drowsiness, euphoria, apathy, slurred speech, slow gait, constricted pupils and decreased sexual drive.
Typical Parent Behavior...
Wasting away and dying
How Long Will It Stay In Your Parents System?
2-4 Days

There ya guys go straight outta stuff magazine if someone has the link to the first part could you post it im sooooo very tired of typing.
 
For every drug:

"What Does This Drug Do To Your Parents?"
"They feel good"

Duhh

Cuddles ;)
 
Whoever wrote this is a fucking moron.

Ketamine:
How Can You Spot A User Of This Drug?
Delerium, impaired motor function, convulsions and vomiting
Typical Parent Behavior...
Lying motionless while, um.... lying motionless

I hope the next time I get rocked I'll be having convulsions while lying motionless

hmm.. just a guess.. but I think the writer has a bias against heroin
 
Umm...what exactly is Stuff magazine? Do they always publish funny shit like this?
 
yeah they usually do publish funny shit, but its not always drug related
 
kbee said:
ketamike- chill out it's a joke. I found it funny.

why dont YOU chill out, buddy? heroin misinformation is NO JOKE
 
lol. im fortunate to have a mother who enjoys marijuana usage every now and then.

my favorite words out of her mouth are: "hey, can i borrow your bowl."

makes me feel good to know that my mom and i are the same.

maybe one day ill turn her negative stigma of mdma around and try that with her too...
 
they feel good, until they die

that's the funniest thing i have heard in a very long while
 
Personally i think the best line in here is in the LSD paragraph, when it says "And a Greatful Dead collection so volumous that it contains 23 different versions of Fire On The Mountain"
 
Top