tirednwired
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Apr 25, 2023
- Messages
- 1
Over the last two years, I have tried to roll a few times, with many months in between, and cannot seem to get a roll going. It mostly makes me tired or even somber. On a few occasions, I've felt a slight euphoria, but it quickly fades. I am wondering what could be happening in my brain that is causing this.
Some back story:
First started playing with MDMA roughly 10 years ago. Always had a great time and no comedown. In fact, I usually felt great the week afterwards. Probably took it like 4-5 times tops. Two years later, I started Prozac so I didn't take any. Took prozac for maybe 2 years and weened off it as I started weekly oral ketamine treatment. I was able to roll again and things felt like they used to. My dose for a pleasant roll was around 120mg. I dont think I ever took more than that, and definitely took less. During that time I also started taking adderall 10mg as needed, so not everyday. Still no issues.
Then about 2 years ago, I hadn't done any for a while (at least 6 months if not more) and got my numbers mixed up and took 210mg by accident. It was not fun. I felt the come up and then overwhelmed and hot, I stepped out and threw up. I had taken it probably an hr prior, possibly less. My teeth were rattling so much it was hard to speak and my vision was jumping up and down. At the time, I didn't realize I had doubled my usual dose. I had however started taking Vyvanse daily in the last 1-4 months, including that morning. Got back home and took a half dose of a benzo to sleep/calm down. Woke up fine the next morning. I don't even recall felling a harsh comedown. Just a little rattled and embarrassed. Ever since then, I haven't been able to roll. Naturally, I did not touch the stuff for a while. About 5 months later, I tried a little bit, and it was okay, but hardly noticeable or had to focus to feel it. Maybe 8 or more months later, tried again and it simply made me tired and not very social. I pretty much wrote it off for a while. I gave it another 6 months, tried 100mg, this time with 5mg adderall at some point thinking maybe I would get tired. Didn't do much, but wasn't as tired. Tried some licks this past weekend after another 5 month break and it felt gentle but nice about 20 mins, but then I felt tired again, and even sad. I've even tried taking some after being off of vyvanse for a month. Although I've been too nervous to take more than 50-80mgs.
Having read around on some of the other posts here, I guess I have to just chalk it up to "lost magic", but I am curious to know more about a few things:
Side note: whenever I've felt comfortable to try again it has only been with purportedly clean and really good from friends and also tested. Others love the same batches.
Some back story:
First started playing with MDMA roughly 10 years ago. Always had a great time and no comedown. In fact, I usually felt great the week afterwards. Probably took it like 4-5 times tops. Two years later, I started Prozac so I didn't take any. Took prozac for maybe 2 years and weened off it as I started weekly oral ketamine treatment. I was able to roll again and things felt like they used to. My dose for a pleasant roll was around 120mg. I dont think I ever took more than that, and definitely took less. During that time I also started taking adderall 10mg as needed, so not everyday. Still no issues.
Then about 2 years ago, I hadn't done any for a while (at least 6 months if not more) and got my numbers mixed up and took 210mg by accident. It was not fun. I felt the come up and then overwhelmed and hot, I stepped out and threw up. I had taken it probably an hr prior, possibly less. My teeth were rattling so much it was hard to speak and my vision was jumping up and down. At the time, I didn't realize I had doubled my usual dose. I had however started taking Vyvanse daily in the last 1-4 months, including that morning. Got back home and took a half dose of a benzo to sleep/calm down. Woke up fine the next morning. I don't even recall felling a harsh comedown. Just a little rattled and embarrassed. Ever since then, I haven't been able to roll. Naturally, I did not touch the stuff for a while. About 5 months later, I tried a little bit, and it was okay, but hardly noticeable or had to focus to feel it. Maybe 8 or more months later, tried again and it simply made me tired and not very social. I pretty much wrote it off for a while. I gave it another 6 months, tried 100mg, this time with 5mg adderall at some point thinking maybe I would get tired. Didn't do much, but wasn't as tired. Tried some licks this past weekend after another 5 month break and it felt gentle but nice about 20 mins, but then I felt tired again, and even sad. I've even tried taking some after being off of vyvanse for a month. Although I've been too nervous to take more than 50-80mgs.
Having read around on some of the other posts here, I guess I have to just chalk it up to "lost magic", but I am curious to know more about a few things:
- Is there a scientific/chemical explanation for what is happening in my brain that I just feel quiet and sleepy?
- Could the medication history have anything to do with it? For example, I know that the stimulants elevate my dopamine levels.
- Can it be simply the case that that one double dose has ruined me for mdma for good?
- BONUS: if I am having this reaction to MDMA, should I be cautious around other substances including such as psilocybin, 2cb, or anything else?
Side note: whenever I've felt comfortable to try again it has only been with purportedly clean and really good from friends and also tested. Others love the same batches.
.