Great Discussion!!!!!!! I personally grew up in a very restricted, closed minded environment where absolute adherence to Christian morality and views about sexuality was strictly enforced. Once I removed myself from this environment, I sought out a "normal" relationship with someone I learned later was incapable of even maintaining a normal sexual relationship. The guilt and baggage this person carried around was incredible, for me this relationship became like a prison, so when things went badly, I eventually sought to end it.
I began to seek solace in a friend I had made, she was open enough to introduce me to people who had much more experience and open views of sexuality than I. We had a sort of support group for freaky people we called "Family Talk". The group was very ecclectic, straight ( but freaky) , lesbian couples, gay couples, bi-sexuals, even a transsexual. We'd meet once or twice a month, sit around and discuss our sexuality and explore the psychology and sociology of it as well. SOMETIMES, actually sex acts occurred in the course of the discussion, but it never regressed to an open orgy. For instance, a gay couple participated in mutual oral sex in front of about 10 other people to illustrate the fact that homosexual sex was just as sensual, passionate and loving as sex between straight couples. Some of the straight people in the room expressed that they held the opinion that homosexual sex was violent. It was an open forum, sometimes with demonstrative interaction, but mostly verbal interaction. It was a unique time in my life.
Near the end of this period, in the course of one particular meeting the issue of labels came up and I expressed the view that my own view of my sexuality had changed in the course of our discussions. Some one asked me how I now viewed myself versus how I viewed myself when I entered the group. I said I was in denial when I entered the group, and had then called myself straight, but that I now viewed myself as "Omni-sexual". I viewed this term as one that shed the conventional view ( and label ) of sexuality, and although I had no experience with same-sex relationships ( except those I had seen in the group setting ) I was now considering exploring a more open lifestyle.
Since then, I have had relationships with both men and women, I have found I enjoy sex with men equally well as with women, and that emotionally both sexes are equally gratifying. I still maintain my own terms of who I am sexually, I maintain that no one can pigeon-hole my sexuality unless I accept it. I agree with the idea that sexuality is a social construct, and that people LEARN sexual acceptable behavior from their environment (I believe this was expressed by Morrison's Lament near the beginning of this thread). We have become so used to the idea of a hetero-sexual based society in the past 15 to 20 centuries, that most people cannot conceive anything but the status quo.
There have been societies that have embraced same-sex social behavior through out history, but none of them survive because of the current religious mores dictate such contact is taboo. Many powerful and successful societies in our history have embraced same-sex social behavior. MOST Roman soldiers maintained a male lover, usually a fellow soldier. MOST also maintained a hetero-sexual family at home as well. They believed maintaining BOTH strengthened the unit cohesion within the Roman Legions and promoted loyalty to fight for those at home.
You can put whatever label on me you wish, I am unconcerned with labels. I currently am in the best most loving and wonderful relationship of my life, with a woman who, like me, is "omni-sexual". We have a wonderful sex-life, we practice safe-sex when we have sex with others outside our relationship, and it's all between consenting, safe, sane adults. I don't have a single regret. I don't condemn others for their choices, and don't judge them for their behavior. I feel unless you're hurting or violating someone elses rights then what you do in your bedroom is and should remain your own business.
