Setting aside drug induced depression , when I was 26 I got myself a legit "mixed anxiety and depression". Fucking nightmare :low self esteem + panic attacks- hopelessness- crazy mood swings etc, I was afraid of doing my phD, afraid of having failed my MA, afraid of sucking at life in general and philosophy in particular, afraid of being shit in bed, afraid of going insane....
. At first I did what any rational person would do, self medicate smoking heroin, but it was not working hence one sunny day I went to Psychiatry . After having pronounced the magic word "heroin", they gave some random benzo for horses and told me to fuck off. I Kept using that shite ( can t remember what was it but it was pretty hardcore, I remember once I tried to cry but I could not) until I moved to Edinburgh to start my PhD. After having met my advisor and loved him at first sight, I went to a party and ended up in bed with a nice girl from Romania. The following day I woke up and felt fine