I have just sat and read through this entire thread from begining to eand and do you know what i have seen?
Semantics.
and
Circular Arguments leading NoWhere and Fast.
Everyone is entitled to believe in whatever they would like to believe in. We have firmly established that. We have also firmly established that people are entitled to state these beliefs, and that others are allowed to disagree with these beliefs and debate them. This is the basic structure of an academic argument.
The only preoblem with this is that this is a highly subjective and emotive issue, to which there can never be a right or wrong answer.
Personally i disagree with NT's idea that all "fat chicks" are needy and clingy. I myself am a size 12-14 and managed to be quite happily single for 2 years, turning down people with whom i did not want to be, and sleeping with people when i wanted. When i decided that i wanted a relationship, i got one. I know many people who fit this description, and to generalise the way many people, both here and elsewhere, like to is really not very conducive to their argument.
I do not believe that the belittling of people due to their size is appropriate at all. Even if there was some corellation between the larger women and their neediness, i do not see why their size needed to be mentioned at all. it would like me saying that all black men have big penises, or that women with orange hair orgasm more quickly. These are obviously falsities, so why can people not see the non-truth in his statement for what it is? Perhaps these clingy women are larger, but tarring all of the larger women with the same brush is ridiculous IMHO, and will more likely than not lead to a massive thread that just ends up chasing its own tail.
Furthermore, i do not condone the abuse that extremely slim girls must suffer either. I have afriend who is a size 8 and looks extremely skinny, however, in the 8 years i have known her, she has always been that way. As Deja stated, being teased because you're skinny is not fun either, but i think it's less widely critisised because it is far easier to put on a little weight than it is to lose it. Also if one is naturally skinny, then it can be accepted that one is perfectly healthy. Contrary to this, if one is percieved to be overweight beyond a certain point, then it can be percieved that one is unhealthy. it is my opinion that unhealthy looking people are the ones we find unattractive, not those who are "fat" or "thin."
But perhaps i am wrong. No. wait. Perhaps you think i am wrong. Nothing i can say will really convince you to change your minds, but it shouldn't matter to me what you all think anyway, because having confidence means being able to put what others think beyond you and concentrating on doing your own thing. I will be the first to admit that i had a knee-jerk reaction to what NT said, but now having thought about it more completely, i don't really see what difference it makes whether he chooses to miss out on potentially fantastice personalities because he is not attracted to the woman on a superficial level - that is up to NT to decide upon, and only he can do anything about changing it.
To respond to the original post in the most objective response i can manage, i will say this:
Necrotrance, perhaps what you need to do to stop attracting these unattractive people is to develop a sense of depth and compassion and try to learn to see beyond people as objects and see them for what they are: People. I think that you will find that while you are looking for a relationship with someone who you deem to be fuckable, all you will ever find is people to fuck, who will very quickly leave you when the time suits them best. If you look for someone who shares your interests and is able to maintain your interest without having sex with them, then maybe you might find that the more you spend time with them, the more attractive they will become.
personally i haven't really had a strong physical attraction to my prospective long-term buddies when we started out, however once i got to know them, the more the attraction to them grew. This is true even now with my current man, whereby there was a mild attraction to him at the beginning, and now i have eyes for barely anyone else.
Try my suggestion, you may even like it.
CM
PS, i would be interested to see who you consider fat also. Even if you just go to
www.hotornot.com and post some appropriate links... :/
i like skinny girls, too, but only if they got cute little small fairy-like boobies to match:D i hate a chick whos only weghs like 120 yet has a d-cup. that looks fucking stupid
