Sad I keep making the same mistakes

[The_CIA_lsBehindMeth&fent]

I had a crazy tough year. Things settled down, but I have some trauma from it and in a way I feel trapped. Instead of figuring this out I am using drugs that I haven't touched in 9 years.

I guess one way out is to burn everything down.

 

[The_CIA_lsBehindMeth&fent]

Sometimes I hate the life I built l, even though I love the people in it.

 

[spammie nurse]

How's it going?

 

[Lil'LinaptkSix]

I have some trauma from it and in a way I feel trapped

Trapped how?
Is rhe snare of your own making or is it created by another or others?
Can you describe this "trap" in any way? Like any moving parts to this snare? Others around who you would rather be with than not? All traps can be escaped from but only if one is looking for freedom which can be daunting in itself.... Maybe hence the drug use?
IDK just trying to get to the root of a couple brief posts made about a month ago.
Hoping all is well.
My best wishes.

 

[Pissed_and_messed]

I'd advice burning just flower to everything. If it suits you.

Not that I'd follow that advice coherently.

Commonly when I feel hope and excitement, I get sad about everything done and over and worried about future.

Which I don't like, so I turn once more to burning everything down. This is dichotomy and all-or-nothing-thinking and self-sabotage.

I'd like to insist I make "progress" anyway.

Which is kinda boring thought also sometimes. I don't want everything to be about progress.