So I was in my first threesome last night....

[munki]

It was with my friend, Sarah, who I have had this crush, cuddley flirtation with for about a month and her new boy. I had been ready to give up anything happening beyond flirtation with her but last night things changed quite a bit!

She and I made out before boy came over. It was mainly my suggestion that he come over and "play" (unfortunately she and I were pretty tipsy...maybe not the best scenario for a virgin threesome) After boy came over and we kicked it for a bit, feeling the general vibe we all started getting "cozy". It was fun to be worshipped because she went down on me as he was kissing me. Then he and I started fucking...and then Sarah starting feeling left out. We tried to involve her but she kinda left the bed and sat and smoked at the other side of the room.

He and I tried to check in with her to make sure everything was okay...she said it was so we continued fucking. Unfortunately everything was not okay and she was pretty upset and hurt. Made me feel bad for liking the sex and being all wrapped up in the moment.

We all talked about it for a bit, and in general things resolved. I highly doubt Sarah will participate in another threesome with that particular boy, or me. She entered the situation thinking everything would be all good, but I guess her emotions got all mixed up in it. I think she likes him more than she thought she did.

So threesomes definitely can be messy, and someone feels left out.

Just am wondering if there is a way to have a successful one without that happening.

 

[ducks]

communication

 

[wesmdow]

man, i can relate to that.

i was the one left out tho, and it SUCKS. nothing makes you feel more insecure than watching your SO and your best friend have sex without you.

or halfassedly try to include you.

threesomes can be messy, you have to be VERY secure in your relationship for it to work out.

just think before you act sometimes

 

[SxyFemmeFatale]

1 reason why I won't have sex with a couple. Is that example right there. The sex obviously wasn't worth the akwardness in friendship afterwards.

Hope it works out and everything is calm and ok.

 

[cxsx]

try not leaving anyone out? lol
like, he could have been hittin you from the back and she could have been spread eagle in front of your face and you could have been eatin her out?
god, you people!!!!!
during a 3some, there really can't be any intimate 1 on 1 moments. even between the 2 girls. they can't be all over eachother leaving the guy out either. lol.
it usually works best when you let the guy control the whole thing and 'order' the girls around.

 

[trippinspirals]

1 reason why I won't have sex with a couple. Is that example right there. The sex obviously wasn't worth the akwardness in friendship afterwards.

Hope it works out and everything is calm and ok.

i definitely want to get into some group sex in the near future, however something i definitely dont want to get involved in is group sex with people dating.

its best with people who loosely know eachother, or are all interested in eachother, but no pre-established relationship.

its just asking for disaster, because - as mentioned - one person gets left out, or one person is a much better fuck than the other.

the last threesome i was in turned into a twosome, part of me def feels bad for the odd person out

 

[SIM-1]

people always say that they're cool with it, I know so many people who's relationship has broken up over this kind of thing. I KNOW i couldnt stomach it, So i'll try to never get myself into that situation...

 

[Samadhi]

try not leaving anyone out? lol
like, he could have been hittin you from the back and she could have been spread eagle in front of your face and you could have been eatin her out?
god, you people!!!!!
during a 3some, there really can't be any intimate 1 on 1 moments. even between the 2 girls. they can't be all over eachother leaving the guy out either. lol.

I completely agree with you.

3somes are really really tricky. I've only been involved in them when i and the other people were all single. I'm still figuring out whether i'd get involved in one now that i'm married. You all have to be on the same page, there have to be boundaries set, and most importantly... Noone can be left out. I'm not an authority on how to make threesomes work when there is a couple involved, but i do think that the situation munki described is an example of what not to do. They can and do work, but there has to be understanding, consideration and an awareness of what other people are thinking (not just saying) at all times.

Then he and I started fucking...and then Sarah starting feeling left out. We tried to involve her but she kinda left the bed and sat and smoked at the other side of the room. He and I tried to check in with her to make sure everything was okay...she said it was so we continued fucking. Unfortunately everything was not okay and she was pretty upset and hurt. Made me feel bad for liking the sex and being all wrapped up in the moment.

This is the part i have an issue with. She was thinking that this was going to be a fun night for the 3 of you, she then saw the 2 of you fucking, and obviously enjoying it, her feelings got in the way, and she realised that she wasn't as into it as much as she thought she'd be. When she left the bed...you continued fucking her boyfriend. It ceased to be a 3some and started to be all about you and her boyfriend fucking. It really should have stopped there. See, if it had've been me, i wouldn't have continued fucking her boyfriend when she got up and went to the other side of the room... surely you would have felt that something wasn't right? Sure, you may have been wrapped up in the moment, but didn't you feel the least bit uncomfortable with the fact that you were fucking her boyfriend while she was on the other side of the room having a ciggie?

Sure, she should have maybe spoken up, but people react differently to stressful situations. Maybe she felt embarassed that she wasn't enjoying it. Maybe she felt intimidated by the level of enjoyment you and her boyfriend were experiencing. Maybe she felt inadequate in comparison...

Anyway, i really hope your friendship weathers this storm, and i hope you learnt from this experience. I'm not trying to sound nasty and i'm sorry if it came across that way, but yeah, i can fully see your friends side of it.

 

[badboybrian]

yeah, its best to go into this kinda thing with everyone being single. not two people as a couple, then another person. as said previously, people "will" say its totally cool, and even think its gonna be totally cool. but when in the moment, people may feel differently and have a totally different opinion of the situation as what they were thinking before hand.

for optimal results, the probability of one occuring without any side effects is one when all three people can say that they dont have to call each other the next day.

 

[physix]

not everyone is wired for threesomes ...

just the way o' the world.

now, i hope that he respects your friend
and loves her enough to not put her in
that kind of situation in the future...

1 reason why I won't have sex with a couple. Is that example right there. The sex obviously wasn't worth the akwardness in friendship afterwards.

now, i won't be in a 3some if it's me and my boy and someone
else...

but, i'll definitely be the guest star of someone else's sitcum
for real... that's the ONLY way i'll do it...


usually, in most 3somes, it's understood that the whole point
of adding some new 3rd was to add some excitement ... both
parties should be equally down and interested for the third and
WANT to focus most of their attention on the "guest"...

this is, for me, an ideal 3some situation... when you have this
kind scenerio, then no one's feelings can be hurt... the 3rd
person should be the focal point... unless, of course, you simply
have a fascination with someone fucking or being fucked by your
SO...

that's just me, tho...

 

[smart-e]

Well I'm having my first threesome experience on Wednesday. I'm hoping it goes pretty good. I know the guy pretty well and the girl ive seen a picture of but I havn't met her yet. Im excited and nervous. Im more nervous about the girl not liking me more than anything but we will see how it goes i suppose and Im nervous about one of us feeling left out that would suck.

 

[munki]

Well...we would have involved her more, but I guess she was on her period so that made her not as into it as she could have been.

My reptile brain is pretty powerful sometimes...I wasn't able to think fully about her until we had finished. I know that sounds kind of lame and not cool...but that was what happened.

I talked to her yesterday and everything is ok. She was mainly worried that I didn't want to be her friend anymore. But I still do...would still like to make out with her again, maybe next time without a boy there too.

 

[Samadhi]

Well, i'm glad this hasn't ruined the friendship...that's awesome.

Maybe it wasn't the best time for you to all try a 3some when one of you had your period? To me, that would be indicative of her not being able to involve herself as much anyway, due to bleeding, etc.

Yeah, maybe, if she's into it, have a night with just the 2 of you, no boy??

 

[e5th3r]

if i saw my boyfriend fucking my friend i would flip the fuck out too. i mean.. HOLY SHIT?! how can ANYONE enjoy this.. HES HER BOYFRIEND!!!! AND SHES UR FRIEND!!!!! how can u enjoy fucking HER boyfriend!?!??! i mean.... COME ON 8( 8( 8(

 

[SIM-1]

if i saw my boyfriend fucking my friend i would flip the fuck out too. i mean.. HOLY SHIT?! how can ANYONE enjoy this.. HES HER BOYFRIEND!!!! AND SHES UR FRIEND!!!!! how can u enjoy fucking HER boyfriend!?!??! i mean.... COME ON

YESSSSS

 

[swifty]

You gotta exercise some common sense, I mean, what were you expecting her to say when you asked, "is everything ok hun?" You knew she wasn't happy about it, yet you kept on anyway, and now you surprised that she's. Which rock is it that you've been living under??

 

[Strawberry_lovemuffin]

if i saw my boyfriend fucking my friend i would flip the fuck out too. i mean.. HOLY SHIT?! how can ANYONE enjoy this.. HES HER BOYFRIEND!!!! AND SHES UR FRIEND!!!!! how can u enjoy fucking HER boyfriend!?!??! i mean.... COME ON 8( 8( 8(

People can and *do* enjoy this. It's called "swinging". It's a different mindset to yours, doesn't make it wrong. Different strokes for different folks.

I completely agree with samadhi... it was probably bad communication on your part(s) that the upset happened, but I'm glad she was mature enough to overlook it and your friendship is still intact.

I have been in a similar situation... a couple of times in our swinging experiences. See I get tired and "over it" pretty easily, I need breaks. And am usually happy for the action to continue without me. But this one particular time, the girl we were with was blowing my boyfriend and he came. Not on . Ejaculation - because it's a rare thing especially when we've had drugs - should be reserved for me, and me only. And he, well "blew it" I guess you could say And I wasn't even there to witness it.

I was not a happy little miss - although I could hardly blame her, he knew the rules.

There are all sorts of miscommunications that can happen in these situations, even between couples as in tune as us. But ultimately, I guess you stop when the troubles become more than the pay-offs. And you try to minimise any hurt feelings with huge heapings of love, attention and affection... topped off with a bit of a sense of humour about the whole thing. After all, you wanted to do it; you've just got to take the good with the bad. Our motto (unless it's something terrible that's happened) is: "Never regret".

 

[Mean Girl]

[snip]

 

[Samadhi]

*SLM or other mods, if this is off-topic, feel free to delete/move it *

I have to say, i take my hat off to couples (especially women, as i am a woman) who can do this (by this, i mean have 3somes, group sex with their husband/wife/partner present and/or involved)...not only do it, but feel comfortable doing it. By it, i mean watching their boyfriend/husband/S.O with another woman.

The conundrum, for me, is whether me not wanting to do it is a result of my possible insecurity with myself, or with my relationship, or if it's just a case of i'm not into that.

I'm all for (and would completely relish) the idea of being with another woman again, even with my husband (and if she had a partner, him aswell) present, but i'm just not sure that i'm comfortable with the idea of watching him in the throwes of ecstasy, brought on by someone else.

In the time it's taken to get to this point of the post, i've come to a conclusion that it's probably a case of insecurity. Not about my relationship, but about myself. The worry i have about hubby enjoying being with the other woman more, i think stems from the remnants of belief that i'm not good enough, perhaps? Which would then evolve into me thinking that sex with anyone else is going to be better than sex with me??

It's ridiculous, because i know how much we both enjoy sex with eachother. Hmmm, it's a difficult one. I know one thing, though, that i'm not going to put myself in a position to test this theory until i know for sure what the issue is, because i'm certainly not going to knowingly situate myself in an environment that has the potential to turn extremely negative.

 

[e5th3r]

moderators hate me. lol