Positive The Tapering Supportive/Social Thread

[papercuts]

Our doctors prescribe benzos without any problem,but dont wanna give you script for any opioid unless you are cancer patient.

Whereas I can't get any benzos off the doctor to prevent muscle spams any more, but once the spasms cause rips in the tissues then I can have opiates for the pain.

 

[Nas47]

Whereas I can't get any benzos off the doctor to prevent muscle spams any more, but once the spasms cause rips in the tissues then I can have opiates for the pain.

Yes I know that is in US and UK too.Have a many friends in London.They tell me that their GP can prescribe him codeine without much problem...even pure Dhc,but as to benzos.....difficult.Thats why there is illegal market of benzos

 

[Squeaky]

Yes I know that is in US and UK too.Have a many friends in London.They tell me that their GP can prescribe him codeine without much problem...even pure Dhc,but as to benzos.....difficult.Thats why there is illegal market of benzos

Too much politics around opiates these days. When the “opiate crisis” hit the USA around 10 years ago, blame was passed around to everyone. The drug users, then the doctors and pharmacies, and ultimately the pharmaceutical companies. But the first reaction a lot of doctors had was fear that they would get busted for over-prescribing. There were thousands of people like me (and a lot of them were elderly) who showed up to their Dr appointment only to get cut off overnight. Going from 240 mg of time release oxy to zero in one day. Lots of suicides because of the horrible withdrawals.

Loperamide works for opiate wd really well, so they pulled the giant bottles of lope off the shelves everywhere when the FDA announced that they would investigate pharmacies selling it in 2018. Kratom works too, so since 2016 the FDA has tried every trick in the book to stop us from having access to it.

These are government agencies that are tasked with helping the public. Instead they are only concerned with helping themselves. Plenty of doctors are doing the same thing. Scott Gottleib was the head of the FDA in 2016. He tried to convince the world that Kratom is killing people, as bad as heroin. About a year later he retired and went straight to work for big Pharma (conflict of interest....?). There’s a lot of backdoor deals being made every day between big pharma and these regulatory agencies to keep us addicted, and then they say it’s for our protection. It’s all bullshit!

We all know what we need. More pills. Less pills. Different pills. We’re not stupid. And we know how to get them if the Dr won’t give them to us. Hence the huge problem with fake street benzos and opiates.

This is why I figure out what I want BEFORE my appointment every month. I sometimes make up new symptoms, or exaggerate legitimate symptoms, so that he will give me what I want. I even walk with a cane even though I don’t need it and go to a pharmacy that’s 10 miles from my house so that I don’t have to worry about running into my pharmacist at the grocery store.

We have to be our own advocates. We have to become experts in all of the different medications on the market. And we become great liars. It’s the only way to navigate the politics that exist in our ‘free’ society.

 

[Nas47]

Too much politics around opiates these days. When the “opiate crisis” hit the USA around 10 years ago, blame was passed around to everyone. The drug users, then the doctors and pharmacies, and ultimately the pharmaceutical companies. But the first reaction a lot of doctors had was fear that they would get busted for over-prescribing. There were thousands of people like me (and a lot of them were elderly) who showed up to their Dr appointment only to get cut off overnight. Going from 240 mg of time release oxy to zero in one day. Lots of suicides because of the horrible withdrawals.

Loperamide works for opiate wd really well, so they pulled the giant bottles of lope off the shelves everywhere when the FDA announced that they would investigate pharmacies selling it in 2018. Kratom works too, so since 2016 the FDA has tried every trick in the book to stop us from having access to it.

These are government agencies that are tasked with helping the public. Instead they are only concerned with helping themselves. Plenty of doctors are doing the same thing. Scott Gottleib was the head of the FDA in 2016. He tried to convince the world that Kratom is killing people, as bad as heroin. About a year later he retired and went straight to work for big Pharma (conflict of interest....?). There’s a lot of backdoor deals being made every day between big pharma and these regulatory agencies to keep us addicted, and then they say it’s for our protection. It’s all bullshit!

We all know what we need. More pills. Less pills. Different pills. We’re not stupid. And we know how to get them if the Dr won’t give them to us. Hence the huge problem with fake street benzos and opiates.

This is why I figure out what I want BEFORE my appointment every month. I sometimes make up new symptoms, or exaggerate legitimate symptoms, so that he will give me what I want. I even walk with a cane even though I don’t need it and go to a pharmacy that’s 10 miles from my house so that I don’t have to worry about running into my pharmacist at the grocery store.

We have to be our own advocates. We have to become experts in all of the different medications on the market. And we become great liars. It’s the only way to navigate the politics that exist in our ‘free’ society.

Yes broda you are absolutely wright.I read a lot and know about the unsucesfull try of DEA to ban the Kratom.Greed-that rule the world,the other word is Devil.Hopefuly you have society of brave people which go on the streets,protest and ban was lifted(for now).Do you know that there is agreement between US and Indonesia government that after no more than two years Indonesia will ban importing of Kratom?Yea its a fokin inhuman crazy shit that goes around in US.Its so contradictive country...Great and beautiful indeed.The land of the Freedome,but is also a defragment society,which obviously fallen apart.Too much racism after so many years,supporters of Qanon and antivaxers.....that separate society....and when the Covid hits all became even worst.I dont know what to say.... I live in a very shit country too.To steal here is oficial sport.Everybody wanna steal.To be in politics and sucks from Euro fonds.A factory workers became millioners for a day just because they knew somebody important...or are cousins of some minister....almost everybody here lives day by day.Be well my broda......

 

[Squeaky]

Yes broda you are absolutely wright.I read a lot and know about the unsucesfull try of DEA to ban the Kratom.Greed-that rule the world,the other word is Devil.Hopefuly you have society of brave people which go on the streets,protest and ban was lifted(for now).Do you know that there is agreement between US and Indonesia government that after no more than two years Indonesia will ban importing of Kratom?Yea its a fokin inhuman crazy shit that goes around in US.Its so contradictive country...Great and beautiful indeed.The land of the Freedome,but is also a defragment society,which obviously fallen apart.Too much racism after so many years,supporters of Qanon and antivaxers.....that separate society....and when the Covid hits all became even worst.I dont know what to say.... I live in a very shit country too.To steal here is oficial sport.Everybody wanna steal.To be in politics and sucks from Euro fonds.A factory workers became millioners for a day just because they knew somebody important...or are cousins of some minister....almost everybody here lives day by day.Be well my broda......

Last I heard was that the FDA from the USA traveled to Indonesia to try and convince them to ban the export of Kratom. It’s a huge industry for them though, so the FDA failed. After that , the FDA petitioned the World Health Organization last year to get them to ban Kratom worldwide. I believe the WHO has it listed now as a “drug of interest” with a couple if years to research it before deciding whether or not to issue a ban on Kratom.

It’s like the government here doesn’t want me to play in their sandbox, so they’re now trying to convince the world that sand is toxic and have a ban on the use of sand worldwide. Even though it washes up on every beach in the world. I heard an expert on this saying that it isn’t a war on drugs. It’s a war on vegetables.

Sooo true.

I’m stocking up on Kratom now. I have 10 kilos, and I’m probably going to get a lot more. It costs me less than a cup of coffee and I know that I’ll be able to wean myself off of it if I have to, as long as I have a large enough stash. It will totally suck if it gets banned. I need to try and get a plant so that I can grow my own someday.

 

[Nas47]

Last I heard was that the FDA from the USA traveled to Indonesia to try and convince them to ban the export of Kratom. It’s a huge industry for them though, so the FDA failed. After that , the FDA petitioned the World Health Organization last year to get them to ban Kratom worldwide. I believe the WHO has it listed now as a “drug of interest” with a couple if years to research it before deciding whether or not to issue a ban on Kratom.

It’s like the government here doesn’t want me to play in their sandbox, so they’re now trying to convince the world that sand is toxic and have a ban on the use of sand worldwide. Even though it washes up on every beach in the world. I heard an expert on this saying that it isn’t a war on drugs. It’s a war on vegetables.

Sooo true.

I’m stocking up on Kratom now. I have 10 kilos, and I’m probably going to get a lot more. It costs me less than a cup of coffee and I know that I’ll be able to wean myself off of it if I have to, as long as I have a large enough stash. It will totally suck if it gets banned. I need to try and get a plant so that I can grow my own someday.

You will wean from Kratom relatively easily.If you affects you well thats a good choise

 

[Squeaky]

I have too many addictions now. Kratom, oxy, nicotine, weed, caffeine.... I have gone way too far in trying to get sleep, then to wake up. Trying to be a superhero at work. Trying to be a man’s man at home. Somehow I have no idea how I got here and yet I know exactly how I got here. I can’t figure out how to get back, although I know exactly how to get back. I’m pretty miserable most of the time just trying to be a little less miserable.

Too bad I’m no good at taking my own advice. Some days I post here on BL and I feel like the world’s best addiction counselor who’s addicted to EVERYTHING. I need to pick one thing and focus on giving it up. I just can’t bring myself to do the work.

 

[Nurse Ratched]

I have too many addictions now. Kratom, oxy, nicotine, weed, caffeine.... I have gone way too far in trying to get sleep, then to wake up. Trying to be a superhero at work. Trying to be a man’s man at home. Somehow I have no idea how I got here and yet I know exactly how I got here. I can’t figure out how to get back, although I know exactly how to get back. I’m pretty miserable most of the time just trying to be a little less miserable.

Too bad I’m no good at taking my own advice. Some days I post here on BL and I feel like the world’s best addiction counselor who’s addicted to EVERYTHING. I need to pick one thing and focus on giving it up. I just can’t bring myself to do the work.

One day you will. You just aren't ready yet. You think you are but you aren't quite there yet. You ARE getting close though. It sucks to be miserable. I know the feeling. Every day is a struggle.

I know you have it in you to succeed in whatever you want. I have read all your posts and I know from your writing that all of this weighs heavily on your mind. I know you suffer a constant internal battle. One day...maybe next year. maybe next month you will wake up and say Okay....I had fun. I did my thing. I am none the worse for wear luckily and I have managed to endure this long. But note to self....I am tired of fighting. I am tired of feeling like shit all the time. I am tired of dreading going to work. I am just tired of everything.

When that day comes you will eliminate...one by one....all the things that cause you distress. You will say fuck all this shit. I'm done. I want to live a peaceful existence and if giving up weed will do that then that's what I will do. If i smoke too many ciggies, I will cut down. If i take too many oxy I will control my usage by only taking them for severe pain and not to enjoy the high. I'll take a few less grams of kratom than I normally do. Your state of mind just isn't there yet. But it's coming. I can hear it in your words.

Just don't stop drinking coffee. That addiction you have to keep.

 

[Nas47]

I have too many addictions now. Kratom, oxy, nicotine, weed, caffeine.... I have gone way too far in trying to get sleep, then to wake up. Trying to be a superhero at work. Trying to be a man’s man at home. Somehow I have no idea how I got here and yet I know exactly how I got here. I can’t figure out how to get back, although I know exactly how to get back. I’m pretty miserable most of the time just trying to be a little less miserable.

Too bad I’m no good at taking my own advice. Some days I post here on BL and I feel like the world’s best addiction counselor who’s addicted to EVERYTHING. I need to pick one thing and focus on giving it up. I just can’t bring myself to do the work.

I have too many addictions now. Kratom, oxy, nicotine, weed, caffeine.... I have gone way too far in trying to get sleep, then to wake up. Trying to be a superhero at work. Trying to be a man’s man at home. Somehow I have no idea how I got here and yet I know exactly how I got here. I can’t figure out how to get back, although I know exactly how to get back. I’m pretty miserable most of the time just trying to be a little less miserable.

Too bad I’m no good at taking my own advice. Some days I post here on BL and I feel like the world’s best addiction counselor who’s addicted to EVERYTHING. I need to pick one thing and focus on giving it up. I just can’t bring myself to do the work.

Well somehow i can feel that,cause often i am in a same position.Even get days and weeks long periods,when can hardly do anything,cause Im feel so bad...and i think that you practicaly functional,but with many issues and pains.But somehow draggin for survive.Which is admiring.Be more soft on you sometimes.Whad da from ck that you have smoke habbit or drink more cofeea....or eat more.Its normal man.Thats a people now(well one big part).Smokin,drinkin a lot.stressing and overeating,insomniacs...fully fried up brains...The life is hard everywhere for most.Most with polydrug use...If you want you can change a lot of things,you know that.Be calm

 

[Squeaky]

Th

Well somehow i can feel that,cause often i am in a same position.Even get days and weeks long periods,when can hardly do anything,cause Im feel so bad...and i think that you practicaly functional,but with many issues and pains.But somehow draggin for survive.Which is admiring.Be more soft on you sometimes.Whad da from ck that you have smoke habbit or drink more cofeea....or eat more.Its normal man.Thats a people now(well one big part).Smokin,drinkin a lot.stressing and overeating,insomniacs...fully fried up brains...The life is hard everywhere for most.Most with polydrug use...If you want you can change a lot of things,you know that.Be calm

Thank you Nas.
I’ll live. I’m just realizing that I have some trouble connected to my surgeries, but some is just me being stupid. I know my life would be better in some ways if I quit a couple of habits, but also a little worse in different ways if I quit the same habits. It’s mostly connected to stress of life and none of that is going away until I’m dead... and I don’t plan on dying anytime soon!

 

[papercuts]

I have too many addictions now. Kratom, oxy, nicotine, weed, caffeine.... I have gone way too far in trying to get sleep, then to wake up. Trying to be a superhero at work. Trying to be a man’s man at home. Somehow I have no idea how I got here and yet I know exactly how I got here. I can’t figure out how to get back, although I know exactly how to get back. I’m pretty miserable most of the time just trying to be a little less miserable.

Too bad I’m no good at taking my own advice. Some days I post here on BL and I feel like the world’s best addiction counselor who’s addicted to EVERYTHING. I need to pick one thing and focus on giving it up. I just can’t bring myself to do the work.

Stop trying to be perfect. It's exhausting just thinking about how much you want to be the best dad, best husband, best worker, all while smiling and never complaining? Not possible. I'm not saying stop trying, I'm saying make your goal for the day realistic and forget about tomorrow. You outta pills yet?

 

[Squeaky]

Stop trying to be perfect. It's exhausting just thinking about how much you want to be the best dad, best husband, best worker, all while smiling and never complaining? Not possible. I'm not saying stop trying, I'm saying make your goal for the day realistic and forget about tomorrow. You outta pills yet?

Yep. Outta pills.
I’m getting smarter. Every month I tell my Dr to give me less. If I can’t quit on my own, I’ll cut it off at the source.

You’re totally right about trying to be perfect. It’s not in my nature to say ‘I can’t’, and the pills make it so I always ‘can’.

I have dreams of being retired and having a year or two to fight the battle. Cut myself off. Find a good mechanic. Hire someone to paint my house. Stop doing my own taxes and get an account I can trust. I just don’t have it in me to turn into the broken old man that I really am on the outside(I’m still a superhero on the inside). My brain tells me I can fly, but the landing gear has been broken for a long time.

Meanwhile..... I’m writing a children’s book about my experience on opiates. It’s called “Everyone Poops, Except Me!”

 

[fromuponpoppyhill]

You can be awesome without being superhuman. The pressure to outperform ourselves will only ever push us harder, the reward is as unattainable as the dragon.

Be kind and patient with yourself, even when you don't want to.. especially when you don't want to. You deserve it. We all do.

 

[papercuts]

Every month I tell my Dr to give me less. If I can’t quit on my own, I’ll cut it off at the source.

You've tried everything else, slow and steady wins the race.
Don't try to rush ahead to the end, it isn't going anywhere.

 

[Nas47]

You've tried everything else, slow and steady wins the race.
Don't try to rush ahead to the end, it isn't going anywhere.

Yea.All roads go to Death.Important is how you lived your life.Is there any good left behind you...stuff like that....

 

[Squeaky]

Don't try to rush ahead to the end, it isn't going anywhere.

Ain’t that the truth. I’m certainly guilty of worrying too much about the destination when it’s the journey that really matters.

 

[Squeaky]

Yea.All roads go to Death.Important is how you lived your life.Is there any good left behind you...stuff like that....

Amen to that!

 

[Squeaky]

This time two years ago, I spent Christmas, New Years, and Valentines Day in withdrawal.

This time a year ago I was convincing my Dr to give me more oxy, 100 mg per day. I was using up to 600 mg per day and running out in a week.

This month I told him to cut me back to 40 mg per day. I still burn through it in a week, but it’s progress.

Maybe this time next year I’ll be telling the story about how I stopped seeing that Dr all together.

Baby steps..... I just couldn’t imagine it would be this hard or take this long.

 

[papercuts]

Baby steps..... I just couldn’t imagine it would be this hard or take this long.

This was what I found most surprising, the length of time it takes to get free then to start feeling normal.
It just goes on and on and I'd very much like it right now which puts a spanner in the works now and again.
Other times, I think, nearly seven weeks of close to clean, that's not bad. Why does noone set goals to nearly do things? I think they should.
I'm nearly clean for quite a long time.
Not only is that achieveable for me but it's very safely sustainable as well.

 

[Nas47]

This time two years ago, I spent Christmas, New Years, and Valentines Day in withdrawal.

This time a year ago I was convincing my Dr to give me more oxy, 100 mg per day. I was using up to 600 mg per day and running out in a week.

This month I told him to cut me back to 40 mg per day. I still burn through it in a week, but it’s progress.

Maybe this time next year I’ll be telling the story about how I stopped seeing that Dr all together.

Baby steps..... I just couldn’t imagine it would be this hard or take this long.

Yes.Its great.45 mgs are just step to quit at all,if you want,but suffer....sometime