^^^ If you became the person you are now, that's proof that you've changed before, and now you have to use those skills to become a person that you want to be and respect. Everyone has to compromise on things throughout their life, being part of a society means that some of your beliefs and goals will require a struggle. And sometimes we reach that point of self-loathing because decisions we've made with the best intentions turn out skewed; that's the risk we take every time a choice is made. Unfortunately several of those can happen at once and the landslide is overwhelming.
There is nothing in this world that is worth you going through life without self-respect. If you have to make compromises, make them, but not if it means the sacrifice of your own well-being, honey. All kinds of love are important, but self-love is the one that you shouldn't go without for long because asbolutely everything you do is affected by it. What happens now affects where you'll be in the future, and if you make decisions while you're miserable they could leave you a bigger mess to clean up someday soon. Decide to love yourself despite what has (or hasn't) happened, any way you can. That will give you the strength, motivation, and ability you need to set your world to rights again. Best of luck to you, Cure/Disease. (And btw, your name has a question mark, but it struck me that it doesn't have to be a choice. Most cures are potential diseases. The ability to heal an ailment, applied to something else, could cause all the wrong things to happen. It all boils down to which way you apply it, and THAT is an important choice.