After seeing this thread, I really wanted to share my whole story in the hopes that it can possibly deter at least one person from the spiraling dark tunnel that is heroin addiction.
I’m 29 & I got addicted to opiates at 18. I started working at my first strip club shortly after my 18th birthday. I always loved smoking weed & popping the occasional thizzle. I wasn’t even a drinker at this point & I was working sober up until this point. I sustained an injury where I was given Norco for pain. Had to stay home from work for a week or so, and when it was time to go back to work my ex at the time (the only sober boyfriend I’ve ever had) reminded me to take my Norcos to work. I told him I was worried about the pills making me feel dizzy or something, since I’m a pole dancer after all. So he said just take 2 with me just in case I start to feel a lot of pain. The moment I popped those first 2 norcos at work, it was off to the muthafuckin races. It’s strange actually, bc I never felt any kind of attachment to the pills the past week I was on them at home. I loved the feeling of being high at work. From that moment on, I was an every day user. I remember being so ignorant to drug addiction that I didn’t even know what was happening to my body the first time I was dope sick. I was so fucking confused, was I having a new kind of mental health episode. I have BPD so I thought it had something to do with that.
I started using OC, then Roxie’s when they were no longer available to me. At this point, truly & honestly, I was a highly functioning addict even though I was taking nearly 100 Roxie’s a day. I had my own place in Calabasas, drove a brand new Benz, shopped & ate at all of the celebrity hotspots in my native Los Angeles. I was making over 120k/year in the adult film industry & I was 21 years old. I loved my life at this point. I can honestly say I was truly happy & healthy, more than ever. Happiness doesn’t last though, not for me. I have demons I fight in the back of my mind & I went through shit as a kid that no one should ever have to experience. I know most of you can feel me on that.
I ended up meeting a girl named Lacey who offered me heroin for the first time. It’s just SO much cheaper, why continue fucking with Roxie’s if they’re $30 a pill? She was a smoker, so that’s how we ingested it. This is such a pivotal moment in my life. I believe whole heartedly that trying heroin that day ruined my whole life & if I had never had that weak moment, I wouldn’t have gone through half the shit I’ve been through up until this point in my life.
After smoking heroin daily for the past month, I decided I wanted to try shooting it. I was off work that day, just sitting at my kitchen table & watching the movie ‘Ray’ with Jamie Foxx, the one about Ray Charles. It showed Ray shooting up blind, with nobody’s help. I decided, hey if this dude can push off & he’s completely blind, I can do it by myself for sure! I don’t even remember how I ended up with a rig, but I cooked up my shot in a spoon just like the movies, dropped in a tiny ball of cotton & loaded the rig. I didn’t even have to tie myself off, I had this huge pipeline on my left arm. I registered on the first try & experienced my first high from IV heroin alone in my apartment at 21. I had no fear of overdose or anything else.
From there, I became a total & complete junky in every sense of the word. I was evicted from 2 different apartments, got into a super toxic relationship with another heroin addict where I was the victim of extreme domestic violence & experienced homelessness for about a year.
I’m gonna spare the boring details, but y’all don’t even know a fraction of what I went through & I don’t ever want anyone to experienced the shit I had to, that’s why I’m writing this. After a whole lot of hell, I ended up getting on methadone which I believe single handedly contributed to saving my fucking life. I know it doesn’t work for everyone, but it literally saved my fucking life. I’ve been illicit-opiate free for 3+ years & I’ve been off methadone for a year now. Don’t get me wrong, I love drinking & I do love me some yayo or crystal here & there. But nothing has ever taken me to the kinds of dark & deadly places that heroin did.
Long story short, if I could go back in time to the moment I tried H there’s no hesitation- I would choose to avoid it at all costs. Anyonie who’s reading this & is thinking about trying H, please think with the rational side of your brain. I didn’t do that, so I’m hoping you will. Don’t throw your fucking life away for heroin.
