[edited to add]
Ceres - if you fancy a chat to a rambly person with similar views on meph, would you like to chat on MSN or similar? I tried PMing you, but apparently I haven't made enough posts yet. Think you've gone to bed anyway.... maybe chatting random shite to each othe will prevent us from bothering our real-life friends
I'm actually beginning to find it quite a boring substance. It's absolutely useless for getting anything done, even tidying the house, because my attention is constantly flitting from one thing to the next, right now I have a dozen tabs open in my browser and I'm carrying on conversations online with half a dozen different people for example and just cycling between all of them. It's taken me 20 minutes to write this so far.
I find it really difficult to find good music to go with it, I'm constantly changing the tunes, or listening to a mix and suddenly notice that the tune on is annoying the shit out of me and find myself thinking that the guy who produced it must be a total dickhead to make something so irritating.
Yeh - I did a couple of small lines last weekend - thought it might make tidying more fun. It didn't - it's exactly as you say - flitting too much to really get anything done. Was just frustrating. The more I pushed myself to get on with my day and not just mong chatting on the net, the more it did my head in. Ended up feeling pretty crap. But I didn't do much, so didn't have to suffer for it after.
I don't feel much of a euphoria from it anymore, it's more like a mild speedy buzz that makes me very chatty, confident in the validity of my point of view, very sociable and perhaps a bit too honest. I've actually had a couple of evenings on it where I've become quite morose and focusing on all the bad things in my life, allthough admittedly that did leave me with the seeds of a new willingness to tackle some of those problems and explore new approaches to dealing with them - which I suppose is a positive outcome.
That's useful info. I thought the 'mdma with the magic back' badge couldn't possibly be deserved. That'd be way too good to be true!
Sounds like you've been doing it quite often though?
[ Oh yeah and the crystally batch, definately smells of solvent when freshly opened, but it's not the same as the fishy smelling stuff I was getting months ago. It's more like a sharp, vinegary smell. The stuff I got recently has been making my nose sting and my eyes water and had me mouthing swearwords under mybreath after doing a line, and for the first time ever with mephedrone from any vendor I had a quite dramatic nosebleed last night and woke up with both nostrils choked up with dried blood. Lovely.
Ugh
That's horrible. The stuff I have does make my eyes mist up a bit... and is reasonably painful, but not swearing out loud painful (I'm quite a wimp). I really really wish there were so many different varieties of this stuff.
wee addendum I have to get off my chest
I absolutely fucking hate the insidious way it can make me feel as though I'm being perfectly rational when I make arrangements with friends, such as meeting them tomorrow, doing x y z for them at so and so time. Then I wake up the next day, often after having just 3 or 4 hours sleep, feeling ill, antisocial and with an intense desire to be alone. I have let down a friend 3 times in a row now as a direct result of this, infact I've let down several other people aswell, and I fucking hate myself for it.
Summary of my below meph-induced-ramble:
I know how you feel. You have valid reasons to feel bad, but I am sure that meph has a big effect on how you feel about stuff you did when you were fucked. Worse than MDMA imo, but in the same kinda "arrrrrrrg" way.
Yeah, I know this feeling too. The *perfect rationality* of it..... you're so clear headed, you know what you're doing, of course you'd like to see them, yay. Dragged on into the next day for me too, where I went and grovelled for something that was really not my fault.
It's not all real though. I chatted with a friend who I hadn't spoken to in quite a while. Yes, I was *way too honest*. She doesn't care, no harm was done, all's good. But I CRINGE whenever I think of our 5 minute chat. Like I did something terrible. Ok, I told her I was fucked, so she probably knew that the only reason I was talking to her was cos I'd talk to anyone.
My point is that it was a perfectly pleasant msn chat with a girl I'll probably never see again, and it made me feel like SHIT. So... sure, you feel crap for letting your friends down, but remember that it's partly the drugs to blame (for the bad feeling - obviously getting no sleep and feeling shite is....)
