Recovery The 2024 Recovery Thread

[AngelsandFairiesarereal]

Well I guess I might try some tea right now to . . . . feel calm. Oh bouy. Here we go again.

But thank you Health and Recovery for support and keeping each other alert.

I appreciate you all !!!

Thanx.

Appreciate you too

 

[kiely]

Thank you. I don't feel well. I am trying to do better.

And I have some bad flare ups. I had a bad one a couple days ago.

I tried to feel better. And I made a Kratom run. And it was rough.

I was having a tough time. I am still trying to heal. Kratom gave me energy that I need.

I hope the red Kratom keeps helping me out. It seems kind of safe and also harmless so far.

I'm am trying it out.

 

[kiely]

Okay. You got me. I laugh and giggle at things like on the u-tube and and films and creators and comedies and things like that are brilliant works of art with humors that are

meant to share smiles in a silly way. I despise vindictiveness anyway so why be that way. If I had to choose I would rather not.

I like you a lot. You are a cool person. And I understand what you must be going through in the cold and nasty weather up there. I have been through that.

I was lucky that we were able to find a way out and expand into new places and see new and different things.

You are a Mich i Gander. And I respect you just for that alone.

I don't want to laugh at you. I want to be your friend. Or at least have friendly and fun post and threads all together on board and in forums.

I don't want you to feel uncomfortable. I just want to smile and jibber jabber about all kinds of things to help out and learn also by understanding what can be the best possible

solution or ways to figure things out somehow. I don't feel too horrible right now. And I have felt a lot worse. So I guess we are just crying too much or giggling too much and

have to try to maybe find something more in between.

I do hope my Kratom starts working soon. It's supposed to work in about ten minutes or so, hopefully. It doesn't seem to be hurting too badly yet.

But it tastes like chalk probably would.

Hope everybody has a great night. I am just starting.

 

[kiely]

And thank you for the wonderful person that is always so helpful and posted about mixing Kratom in a diet pepsi.

It seems like every other person is using the support of Kratom as a great new sustenance to help with one thing or another.

Such a great post and such a perfect timing also. And always such kind poster as if a higher power is working through you to help and share with others, no matter how bad of

a disposition or bad day they are having, that is the gift that you have. thank you fiori. sincerely. for real. i am trying so hard to be mindful and just appreciative.

~~~~~~~~

I was having a flare up and I needed a dose of Kratom. I had to drive to pick it up but I knew I would feel better as soon as I drank some. So I went to

a SnappyMart on a corner and got a fountain diet cola and spilled some Kratom right into the to go cup. I mixed it up with a straw and it tasted so good.

I was able to drink it in the diet cola and it went right down. I would have never thought to do that. And the fizzy drink kept the Kratom from settling and was smooth to drink.

My flare up and blurred vision cleared right away like I hoped that it would. I was frightened because I was driving but I needed to feel better. I was being extremely cautious

and being slow and taking my time and trying to be very careful like I am trying to do now these days. I am really paying attention now and working on being as extra alert as

possible and at least I didn't hit another deer !

~~~~~

But I still managed to have a disappointing day and it was a rough one too. I just prayed on the way back and begged for strength. I tried to realize that my day wasn't all that

great but I told myself at least it could have been much worse. And that was all that I could do was to try to keep doing better, and keep trying to do better next time.

~~~~~~

I got a 30 dollar bag of Kratom. I was happy because I knew it would help my symptoms. But I had not drank all of my Kratom yet because I was being careful and not

drinking it too fast until I knew how strong it would be. I stopped at busy gas station and I pre paid inside at the register because I decided not to use my card.

Another 30 dollars the same price as the Kratom. I had walked around inside, used the restroom, paid for the gas. Left out the door and had to tell my dog not to bark.

She was barking at some guy for some reason. Got back into my car. Drove away and forgot to put in the gas.

Stopped at the little grocery store. Grabbed a few items. Dog and me get back into car. Start driving back and I thought watch for deer and at least I have a full tank of .. . . oh

fcks. I forgot to put the gas in.

~~~~~~

I just hate myself sometimes. And now I am out 60 dollars and got no gas and then stopped again at the gas station close to home and put in yet another 30 dollars !!!

I mean it hurt so bad it was almost physical again. And the irony of the whole situation was the guy at the Kratom shop was totaling up the savings for me on the amount of

how much I would save by purchasing the 90 gram bag instead of buying the small mini packages of 3.75 grams at 4 dollars each like that or something close.

Anyway the savings came out to being a huge difference. If I had bought the same amount of 90 grams from buying the small packages it would have costed 90 dollars. But

buying the 90 grams in one big package only costed 30 dollars !!! I was so happy until . . . I paid for 30 dollars worth of gas and just forgot and drove off . . and then had to

stop and get 30 more dollars of gas. And then ended up spending 90 dollars. I just wanted some Kratom. But yah at least I didn't run into any deer. I just feel like shit doo doo

some times. And I hate it.

~~~~~~~~~

The pepsi tasted so good . . . and really helped me through that day. It was like medicine. Medicine Pepsi. Thank you I would not have figured that one out any time too soon

and it really helped.

I was shaking so bad and it helped and calmed me back down again. Damn. It's true. I didn't feel good. Again.

 

[Jnowhere]

Well I'm flirting with disaster for sure. And I take less than you. But No. I would never laugh at you. I'm formerly from Michigan but the laughing doesn't hurt anymore.

Well at least you aren't laughing at me !! Or are you . . .

I like you so much.

I was referring to myself as we . . . because I am the only one responsible for me. Or I do try to be.

I wasn't laughing or being mean to you, besides you are nice to me. I don't use Kratom out of fear of it raising my tolerance to my oxycodone script. It is just scary because it is a bipartisan war on legal persciption opiods and pain patients.
I worry because a number of people have warned me about using it,(kratom)because of the hugh tolerance increase it can cause. Probably with high doses everyday.
I am only saying be careful and read about it. To avoid withdrawals and dependence that can happen.
It did help me when I decided I didn't need 24/7 morphine in me anymore. I quit using Kratom when my body got use to no more morphine.
I only use what I need and try to keep my tolerance down (oxycodone). Besides I live in Michigan, if I want to get high, legal pot would be my choice.
It is scary to me because I will need a lot more opiods if and when my liver really goes bad(cirrhosis).
I don't know your situation and I would hate for you to raise your tolerance, sky high( no pun intended) and a the doctors now are real stingy with pain killers because of the misguided war on opiods. The pressure from the FDA and the state governments.
My doctor even said he would prescribe me more but the state government keeps lowering what doctors can prescribe
The Cartels and Chinese smuggle fentanyl into the country illegally and nearly 100,000 people plus or minus die from it.
Their solution, go after people seeking legal pain killers for legit reasons. It is sick what they are doing( and for all those bitching about the war on drugs, I live in a blue state and things have gotten worse with the Biden regime and a liberal governor). So don't try blaming the Republicans for this.
I really hate the idea that these politicians think they are fighting the war on drugs by going after people in pain; while illegal fentanyl and traq dope is what is killing people.
I just don't want you to get a super high tolerance to opiods, so please try to not use it in too large a quantity, too often.
Read about it and side effects. Use it with caution, I hate withdrawals and heavy use can cause a lot of problems.
So please be careful and remember there are no miracle cures and there are bad side effects depending on amount and frequency of use. Please be careful and remember; deer hunting season is in the fall. Just kidding. Be safe.

 

[kiely]

I wasn't laughing or being mean to you, besides you are nice to me. I don't use Kratom out of fear of it raising my tolerance to my oxycodone script. It is just scary because it is a bipartisan war on legal persciption opiods and pain patients.
I worry because a number of people have warned me about using it,(kratom)because of the hugh tolerance increase it can cause. Probably with high doses everyday.
I am only saying be careful and read about it. To avoid withdrawals and dependence that can happen.
It did help me when I decided I didn't need 24/7 morphine in me anymore. I quit using Kratom when my body got use to no more morphine.
I only use what I need and try to keep my tolerance down (oxycodone). Besides I live in Michigan, if I want to get high, legal pot would be my choice.
It is scary to me because I will need a lot more opiods if and when my liver really goes bad(cirrhosis).
I don't know your situation and I would hate for you to raise your tolerance, sky high( no pun intended) and a the doctors now are real stingy with pain killers because of the misguided war on opiods. The pressure from the FDA and the state governments.
My doctor even said he would prescribe me more but the state government keeps lowering what doctors can prescribe
The Cartels and Chinese smuggle fentanyl into the country illegally and nearly 100,000 people plus or minus die from it.
Their solution, go after people seeking legal pain killers for legit reasons. It is sick what they are doing( and for all those bitching about the war on drugs, I live in a blue state and things have gotten worse with the Biden regime and a liberal governor). So don't try blaming the Republicans for this.
I really hate the idea that these politicians think they are fighting the war on drugs by going after people in pain; while illegal fentanyl and traq dope is what is killing people.
I just don't want you to get a super high tolerance to opiods, so please try to not use it in too large a quantity, too often.
Read about it and side effects. Use it with caution, I hate withdrawals and heavy use can cause a lot of problems.
So please be careful and remember there are no miracle cures and there are bad side effects depending on amount and frequency of use. Please be careful and remember; deer hunting season is in the fall. Just kidding. Be safe.

Oh Gawd . . . Thank you.

You seem to be doing above and beyond well by trying to keep up with everything and going through so much and all.

I admire that kind of strength that you have and know that I will not be able to be that tough. But it is tough to survive Michigan too

and all that you have been through also. That is what intrigues me. I just don't know how. Keep up the great work I am proud of you.

I really am. I am going to learn how to maybe make that possible through you. I only have one sibling too so I appreciate you so much

to know that there is someone else out there too. Without my brother it would be like having no air in to breath ever again. I understand.

Somehow.

I really appreciate you for that so much. I am glad that you have your community and a church there for you. I feel so happy when

support can help like that.

So Thank You again for All. Ja !! Honest. I'm serious. Real.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I know. Like we used to say in Michigan. Buck Buck loooool

 

[Jnowhere]

Dear mods, I am curious as to what I posted in the recovery thread that was deleted? I would like to know if it is real, or just another Mod abusing their power to mess with me.
I would really hate to repeat my mistake, and make another post that was not helpful in the recovery forum. So please tell what that post was so I can post better. Yesterday at 11:51 one of my posts in Recovery thread was deleted because it was not helpful. What was it because I would like to know, so that I can improve on my posts.

 

[thatmf]

"(A rainy Lithuanian, who's dancing as an Indian)
(Painted in my tiger skin, especially in Michigan)
Double chins and bowling pins, unholy Presbyterians
Land is full of medicine, I find it when I'm slipping in
(The tainted new librarian, who fainted when she tucked you in)
Well, I'm in Michigan"

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Especially in Michigan

Man I envy you guys. I have some american heritage from that area. I would love to see the states at one point or another. I've been keeping afloat, actually feeling good most of the time, still fighting the black dog of depression now and then. I'm 11 months free of meth and it feels like most of my faculties have come back to me.

and @Jnowhere it's a harm reduction forum. So you're probably gonna have 40-70% regular users of something at any one time...I'm glad I quit meth when I did, it was getting rediculous. I'd like to try kratom coz it sounds epic but it's 100% illegal where I live. I haven't really looked for it at corner shops but the next time I go to one I might have a decent look-around.

Let's go us! Smashing it and the year's barely started

 

[kiely]

Man I envy you guys. I have some american heritage from that area. I would love to see the states at one point or another. I've been keeping afloat, actually feeling good most of the time, still fighting the black dog of depression now and then. I'm 11 months free of meth and it feels like most of my faculties have come back to me.

and @Jnowhere it's a harm reduction forum. So you're probably gonna have 40-70% regular users of something at any one time...I'm glad I quit meth when I did, it was getting rediculous. I'd like to try kratom coz it sounds epic but it's 100% illegal where I live. I haven't really looked for it at corner shops but the next time I go to one I might have a decent look-around.

Let's go us! Smashing it and the year's barely started

Definitely !!!!!!!


Wow @thatmf That is amazing. I've tried it before. Actually accidentally and at Slayer concerts it's usually not coke, Duh. I'm glad I experienced it.

But I am so glad that you are 11 months clean now too. You will be so much better and stronger this way.

I know I cannot believe that AK and blackie dammit, his dad are from mich !!! well yes i can . . . but that is so cool.

Michigan is a fascinating place. I loved it more than california. rip right. Anyway it's way too cold there in michigan and was just way to easy to leave.

I hope that you go far in your life and stay this awesome. So thanks. Awesome. How cool are you though !!!! Very Very !

I had so much fun though in california listening to the chili peppers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anthony Kiedis is so down to earth and amazing. He struggled with addiction and is recovered too.

YOu are such a solid @ mf too and I love your posts and that you're from michigan ties wink wink

I am so happy that you quit meth and were actually and able, too. Even out of the big percentage that uses meth, aren't even able to quit . . .

and before it can really ruin lives I am sure.

AK knows too. I am so glad he wrote a book. Thanks for helping too. That was awesome.

I would really hate to repeat my mistake, and make another post that was not helpful in the recovery forum. So please tell what that post was so I can post better. Yesterday at 11:51 one of my posts in Recovery thread was deleted because it was not helpful. What was it because I would like to know, so that I can improve on my posts.

@Jnowhere I am so sorry. I really hope that you are alright. I love the way that you worded this. It is so positive and inquiring. And quite specifically to the point.

That is very nice and sincere and to the point. Thanks for writing that.


Don't get mad. I don't care if you do though because I am from michigan, right !! loool. jk


The michigan part lool. I hope that your heart isn't broken. Nobody ever wanted one. A broken heart or an addiction problem.

I can't believe how easy addiction can happen. And it does. We all have to be so very careful with drugs and medicine.

I thought it would be so easy to quit pain medication. And it was NOT. Well not for me anyway. Not even for me. I was on here reading before I even quit.

And everything they said was real. And benzo withdrawal hurts more. I am glad that I quit. I feel so much better.

We all will . . when we figure it all out. Sorry but God Bless everybody. I miss you today. Be well.


Oh yeah. It's all in the wording. We'll all be creative writers in no time. I hope.

"(A rainy Lithuanian, who's dancing as an Indian)
(Painted in my tiger skin, especially in Michigan)
Double chins and bowling pins, unholy Presbyterians
Land is full of medicine, I find it when I'm slipping in
(The tainted new librarian, who fainted when she tucked you in)
Well, I'm in Michigan"

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Especially in Michigan

Thanks for posting this !!

Addiction can get the best of everyone. Even the very best of us.

@thatmf


Where did the Red Hot Chili Peppers go on tour? All Around the World looool

What does AK say when he's joking ? Just Kieding ...



actually I thought it was to go on a road trip



My Thanksgiving playlist was a buffet this year. Right.

The main dish Lambchop seasoned with Red Hot Chili Peppers & Salt-n-Pepa.

Accompanied by the side dishes: The Cranberries, Korn, and Black Eyed Peas.

And for dessert. Vanilla Ice...Cream...and some Cake.

And we will also need a "Flavour of Skittles" tour! heeehe

jk but

If I only had two options . . . . either give it away... or flea

I better just go now. Lol.

Thnx for all of your kind posts and inspiration. And Yes ! I do hope Our Year will Smash !!

 

[kiely]

So the dosages all caught up with me. I had another Kratom tea with about over 5 gm's of powder. I had been staggering around for a week on and off. I don't mean staggering my meds, but I mean staggering around everywhere like I was drunk or on mushrooms. From so much Kratom. I want to feel better and have energy. I don't have any.

Finally I was in the kitchen trying to cook more good stuff and healthy too. I had been getting the shakes and starting to get really sick and to really feel horrible. It got so bad. I got so hot and started sweating so I went out on the back deck to get some cool air. It wasn't good.

I tried to lay down and curl up. I felt so sick. I got up to vomit. Sorry if this is tmi. But the whole world was wobbling and my eyes had tears and I couldn't see well.
I thought I was going to have a heart attack. And I thought I was going to have to call an ambulance or that I would die. I didn't understand how I could be having a heart attack. Then I thought that I might be having a seizure. So I felt sick and knew it was the Kratom. I vomited it out about 4 and a half times. over the railing.

I couldn't get enough cool air. I went in and crossed my arms over me and laid down in a half a circle. I laid there for about 4 or 5 hours. I think I slept. I wanted to die but I was to sick to care. This time I couldn't even cry. I felt blacked out. No prayers either. I felt better when most of the Kratom was out of my stomach. I had drank it in the tea before breakfast and then tried to eat food. I did but the Kratom poisoned me. I can't drink that stuff . . anymore.

I just wanted to feel better. And when I was able to get back up again I wondered how I would make it another three more days. I have to get better soon because making it another three years seems impossible to me. I am trying to prepare. As we always are for one thing or another. If it's not one thing it's another, right.

edit: oh and not to mention the headaches and soar eyeballs. so i won't.

 

[thatmf]

So the dosages all caught up with me. I had another Kratom tea with about over 5 gm's of powder. I had been staggering around for a week on and off. I don't mean staggering my meds, but I mean staggering around everywhere like I was drunk or on mushrooms. From so much Kratom. I want to feel better and have energy. I don't have any.

Finally I was in the kitchen trying to cook more good stuff and healthy too. I had been getting the shakes and starting to get really sick and to really feel horrible. It got so bad. I got so hot and started sweating so I went out on the back deck to get some cool air. It wasn't good.

I tried to lay down and curl up. I felt so sick. I got up to vomit. Sorry if this is tmi. But the whole world was wobbling and my eyes had tears and I couldn't see well.
I thought I was going to have a heart attack. And I thought I was going to have to call an ambulance or that I would die. I didn't understand how I could be having a heart attack. Then I thought that I might be having a seizure. So I felt sick and knew it was the Kratom. I vomited it out about 4 and a half times. over the railing.

I couldn't get enough cool air. I went in and crossed my arms over me and laid down in a half a circle. I laid there for about 4 or 5 hours. I think I slept. I wanted to die but I was to sick to care. This time I couldn't even cry. I felt blacked out. No prayers either. I felt better when most of the Kratom was out of my stomach. I had drank it in the tea before breakfast and then tried to eat food. I did but the Kratom poisoned me. I can't drink that stuff . . anymore.

I just wanted to feel better. And when I was able to get back up again I wondered how I would make it another three more days. I have to get better soon because making it another three years seems impossible to me. I am trying to prepare. As we always are for one thing or another. If it's not one thing it's another, right.

edit: oh and not to mention the headaches and soar eyeballs. so i won't.

That sounds like an awful experience and it sucks that you went through it. Glad you're alright though. My thinking is that maybe kratom stacks up or something? like if you're having it daily it might have a long half-life (which it does apparently!) and it builds up in your system a bit? That's my only logical explanation I've got. I mean you have been fairly responsible with dosages I'm guessing?

 

[kiely]

Also, I got some mashed potatoes and brown gravy down yesterday. And some salad but it was rough. (no pun there)
Today I am going to try sugar. I feel so bad. I am out of diet coke. Energy drinks always deplete and are gone.
Little drink packages of tea are gone. But I have been drinking lemon juice and water . . . and I don't like it.
I used to when I wasn't sick but now I need more. Ultra Blue monster or a RedBull. Omg I have nothing.

 

[kiely]

That sounds like an awful experience and it sucks that you went through it. Glad you're alright though. My thinking is that maybe kratom stacks up or something? like if you're having it daily it might have a long half-life (which it does apparently!) and it builds up in your system a bit? That's my only logical explanation I've got. I mean you have been fairly responsible with dosages I'm guessing?

Omg ! You are so smart !! Thank you for saying that. My brain cramped up too. That makes so much sense now. I was going to put them in some in a few empty capsules that I have. But I didn't know what to do. I thought I was going to have a seizure. But foour and a half green coated saks came back up coated with slime so it was a real clean vomit. I felt better but not that well. I realized it wasn't a heart attack but I don't want to have a seizure either. The closest I have got so far to that would be a cluster headache. That put me in a hospital. And kept me home from work for three days. At that time.

Thank you for helping me. Thank you. I though Kratom is supposed to help. I didn't know. I am sorry. I am well was so very sick. I don't want to feel sick.

I think the first few trips of Kratom were helpful. I just don't know. It says on the package tested for purity. And it has a guarantee for pure product.

It was too much to digest. My first cup of tea was a Small Teaspoon. Thank you for your time and kindness. I am trying to live for a few more years and maybe make it a few more. But I don't know. Maybe I am really sick and it isn't even the Kratom. Anyway, then I am afraid I might have to try some more. Kratom.But I don't know if it is too soon yet.

I don't particularly like it but this is how sick I feel and am.. but Kratom seemed to help until it didn't !!!?!

 

[kiely]

I mean you have been fairly responsible with dosages I'm guessing?

Yah. And I am a lightweight. But I am on drugs all of the time and for my whole life jussa bout.

Thank you @ that !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[AngelsandFairiesarereal]

So the dosages all caught up with me. I had another Kratom tea with about over 5 gm's of powder. I had been staggering around for a week on and off. I don't mean staggering my meds, but I mean staggering around everywhere like I was drunk or on mushrooms. From so much Kratom. I want to feel better and have energy. I don't have any.

Finally I was in the kitchen trying to cook more good stuff and healthy too. I had been getting the shakes and starting to get really sick and to really feel horrible. It got so bad. I got so hot and started sweating so I went out on the back deck to get some cool air. It wasn't good.

I tried to lay down and curl up. I felt so sick. I got up to vomit. Sorry if this is tmi. But the whole world was wobbling and my eyes had tears and I couldn't see well.
I thought I was going to have a heart attack. And I thought I was going to have to call an ambulance or that I would die. I didn't understand how I could be having a heart attack. Then I thought that I might be having a seizure. So I felt sick and knew it was the Kratom. I vomited it out about 4 and a half times. over the railing.

I couldn't get enough cool air. I went in and crossed my arms over me and laid down in a half a circle. I laid there for about 4 or 5 hours. I think I slept. I wanted to die but I was to sick to care. This time I couldn't even cry. I felt blacked out. No prayers either. I felt better when most of the Kratom was out of my stomach. I had drank it in the tea before breakfast and then tried to eat food. I did but the Kratom poisoned me. I can't drink that stuff . . anymore.

I just wanted to feel better. And when I was able to get back up again I wondered how I would make it another three more days. I have to get better soon because making it another three years seems impossible to me. I am trying to prepare. As we always are for one thing or another. If it's not one thing it's another, right.

edit: oh and not to mention the headaches and soar eyeballs. so i won't.

Aw Kiely you poor thing. I’m sorry you had to go through all that, I’ve gone through that before … it used to happen to me when I would drink the kratom or drink the tea before I started figuring out dosages, brands & strains that were a better fit. I don’t drink it anymore or do the tea because it hits really fast & if you take too much … well I don’t have to tell you. Now I use capsules, tablets, ect. Less is more until you get to the comfort level. I keep going back & forth about thinking about not taking it anymore even between periods of no pain meds.
Anyways sorry I’m sure I’m rambling here (very sleep deprived)
Anyways I hope you’re feeling better & resting as I write this. Will be thinking of you mamacita & hoping for the best … always rooting for you. It’s hard having chronic pain & stuff & trying to find ways of dealing with it … you have my empathy & support
Gentle hug

 

[AngelsandFairiesarereal]

I’ve been having a hard time lately.

It always feels like maybe ….
- Trying too hard?
- Not trying hard enough?

I don’t know
Feeling pretty crappy, going to just lay down

*sorry this wasn’t too positive of a post… but I’m just being real

*hope everyone’s doing okay

Big hugs

 

[kiely]

Aw … you have my empathy & support

Oh thank you. thank you thank you thank you thank you. You don't say much but you sure do have a way with words. Like Perfect. Very.

Thank you for your words. That must have took great strength. Or that was very strong.

And I know we have to take action too.

 

[kiely]

I’ve been having a hard time lately.

It always feels like maybe ….
- Trying too hard?
- Not trying hard enough?

I don’t know
Feeling pretty crappy, going to just lay down

*sorry this wasn’t too positive of a post… but I’m just being real

*hope everyone’s doing okay

Big hugs

I mean we can't be positive all of the time because then we wouldn't have anything to work towards. It takes many years sometimes and gradually the pathways are redirected, healing and then the brain can focus on other priorities. Sometimes you have to really really be patient when you get in a stall.

I know it is difficult just like post withdrawal you never know when it will take you back a couple steps to keep moving forward. Little steps big results and lots of endurance. And you are always so perfect anyway. he hee

But the thing that helped me for the little extra that I needed is that I prayed to God or was spiritual from a higher power that can tune in from a different power somehow and to be able to have that strength with me. And to help me grow through learning how to heal everyday.

But that being said. Oh fer goodness sake isn't the insomnia the worst. It is exhausting. Sometimes I have to sleep a few hours and then . . . just get up and go with it. And. I sometimes have to sleep when ever I can and it makes me lethargic and tired and it's just horrible. Sometimes I sleep too much too. The Kratohmm had me knocked out for a few days. And I was thinkin I was all normal again.

Good Luck with the insomnia. It's the worse !!!!! But sometimes you can trick it into being not so bad. Try to read or watch something that is long winded. Try to focus on a subject and what they are saying and sometimes it will put you right to sleep. Naw I'm just kidding. loool. But I tried.

Sometimes whole milk (not low fat because is sweetened with sugar so that it won't be too dilute) And sometimes just one strawberry Maybe two because it regulates your natural blood sugar levels to help relax you. Kinda true. I tried it and it worked. Sometimes a nice cold ice pack. Or cold cloth. Think of nothing. Deep breathing. Payers.

Or if you can heat up a blanket or a nice comfy sweater by a wood stove or a dryer.
Thanks for hugs. I was just thinking about you too. How do you stay so calm always. Or that's why we have angels and wings and auras that glitter.

Tee hee. Well Good Night. I hope. I am going to try for another one. I usually can get a few hours.


I dont' know if I deleted some of this post somehow but sorry I typed so much. tlfa too long fell asleep. looool. Good Night again. Thank you so much, you are the Dearest.

Oh yes, I remember what . . . . so can you actually get more than three or four hours of sleep !!!!! If I can make it over four hours then I can make it through the rest of it. I hope that we get the rest that we need. And we will.

 

[elgoucho9]

Not having much luck lately. Seem to have developed an ear/sninuses infection lately.

My head was killing me earlier on. So took a 80mg oxylan and sliced 1/8th (10mg) off and took that.

The pain started to disperse. But then the next thing I know was feeling quite dodgy circulation wise. Had to go to the back door and breathe in fresh air. Went for a walk around the garden. Then a shower to get circulation going again.

Fuck knows what's up with that but next time i have any pain symptoms for any reason I'll be doing the Wim Hoff breathing technique. Did it last night before bed and felt good after.

These experiences lately have spurred me to think best to just give everything a wide birth completely and focus on diet, exercise, meditation and working on improving my health.

It's not like I had been doing much drugs. For the last month I have done 300-500mg K every other evening til 2 days ago, none since then. And I've done the Oxy twice, 2 x 40mg doses once which after the second dose felt super dodgy slowed breathing etc then the same there off 10mg but bad feeling circulation.

I've came to the realisation there is just more to life than this and there must be some underlying health issue for me to be reacting to drugs like this. So for the forseeable I will only be working on improving my life in sober ways. The ketamine for sure helped me to pull myself out of a rut with depression. However now I am out of that rut I realise there are other more positive things to focus on and improve physical health since mentally I am now in a better place.
Will report back in a few weeks time with how I get on with complete sobriety.

Also as a sidenote has anyone heard from @Jnowhere? Can't tag him and haven't seen any posts for a few days which isn't like him.

Hope everyone here is doing well in their struggle.

 

[kiely]

Not having much luck lately. Seem to have developed an ear/sninuses infection lately.

I hope that you get better and stay alright always !!